Enter the Spartans are Greek Sodomizers Zone

Hello all, welcome to the Mediocre Athletics Factor for Tuesday, September 11. I’m your host, and I’m always in my seat 90 minutes before kickoff, especially for Pitt-Grambling. Well, Pitt had an easy time with the Grambling State Fightin’ Eddie Robinsons this past Saturday, notching a 34-10 victory. This score is significant because it is EXACTLY the score by which Notre Dame would lose to GSU. There is not much to take away from the victory, other than the loss of The Greasy Greek Gus Mustakas with an ACL tear. Now we here at the Factor aren’t saying Pitt is cursed, but EA Sports feels so bad, they won’t dare put an ex-Pitt player on the cover of Madden out of deference for Wlat Harris, their new game tester in training. But now is the time to put the two preseason games behind us and turn towards the season opener, and the Michigan State Spartans, the subject of this week’s Wlatting Points Memo.

This game is a rematch of last year’s 38-23 victory by the Spartans at sporadically packed Heinz Field. The Spartans, which is ancient greek for felchers, lost their starting QB and a potent wide receiver to the NFL draft this past April, though this shouldn’t affect their annual mid-season meltdown. We here at Panther Rants would of course like the meltdown to come a bit early this year, and the possibility does exist, as Sparty struggled to beat the Bowl Green Fightin’ John Wool’s last weekend. Second, While Michigan State lost the insufferable John L. Smith (seriously, who the hell uses their middle initial? Jm J Bullock?), they gained someone who was previously employed by Cincinnati. He might as well have come from St. Francis (NY). Wlatting Points appreciates that this is a road game for a young team in Pitt, under the leadership of a redshirt freshman QB in Kevan Smith. Wlatting points understands that Pitt hasn’t won a road game of consequence since 1981. Wlatting points concedes that this coaching staff hasn’t shown anything which would allow your esteemed commentators to predict a win, but you know what? Wlatting Points is damned sick of mediocrity. Wlatting Points is predicting a win, and those who don’t like it, can go root for Sparty, who has been struggling to “MAKE PLAYS” since Bubba Smith left East Lansing to team up with Steve Guttenberg and that guy who makes all those noises with his mouth.