Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Local Pitt Fan Has Ambitious Fall Gardening Plans

Pittsburgh --- As the saying goes, fall is for two things. Football and grass seed. And not necessarily in that order. And those words ring especially true of a local Pitt fan, who has a number of fall gardening projects in store.

“Well, I guess the first thing in line is to take another swing at that patch back by the Rose of Sharon. I don’t know what it is, but that doggone grass just won’t take there. I’m guessing it is a combination of the hedge and the low light levels.” The local Pitt fan elaborated, “Well, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. This year, I am going to put not grass seed, but ground cover back there. Yep, you heard me right, ground cover. Probably that green and silvery stuff. The Mrs. just got a new black composter she parked back there, and I think the silver will look really nice next to it.”

The local Pitt fan said that this project will only scratch the surface, however. “Next in the on-deck circle is going to be planting an apple tree where the hostas are. The hostas were good there, but now that that God-awful mulberry tree got blowed down, there isn’t much shade back there.” The local Pitt fan hoped that by adding the apple tree, it will be close enough to cross-pollinate the apple tree he planted in the front yard two years ago.

The final “major” project will be to move his wife’s vegetable garden from the back to the front. “Oh, the veggies did real good back there for years, but I think the buckeye tree nearby is blocking out too much sun. The vegetable garden was more leaf than veggie this year, which ain’t no good for no one.” The local Pitt fan stated that he plans on moving the vegetable garden to out front, which will likely upset some of the neighbors.

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