Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Al Groh, "I don't need this shit."

University of Virginia head coach Al Groh will not be speaking with Panther Rants this week.

Groh denied the request for an exclusive telepathic interview shortly after the Cavaliers win over Georgia Tech Saturday at Scott Erickson Stadium. Groh cited being possibly misinterpreted for his refusal and openly questioned the blog’s staff.

“I maintain a superior intellect and I can’t see how anyone on your staff could possibly understand what I’m trying to tell you. And frankly, I just don’t need the distraction this week,” Groh said in a telepathic press release.

Apparently Groh’s own players are having a hard time understanding as well. The Cavaliers are 3-1 with losses to Wyoming and a struggle against lowly Duke. Virginia posted a 5-7 record last year with a loss to Pitt in Heinz Field. Prior to last season, Groh’s teams posted four consecutive winning seasons. Virginia officials refused to extend Groh’s contract, which expires in 2010, by another year in November.

“I just don’t see what is to gain by talking to you jackasses on that jackass site of yours. I possess a superior intellect to all of you, which I why I am a graduate of the University of Virginia and you people graduated from that dump in that old mill town. You couldn‘t possibly process the information I would give you,” Groh added before denying the request.

Groh’s own fan base is having a hard time processing what he has given them the past two seasons. Shortly after the Wyoming loss someone spray-painted “Groh Must Go” on a bridge in Charlottesville. Fan blogs with a similar title have also popped up on the Web.
"I think teaching is what I do best. I've always taken a lot of pride in my ability to communicate with players and to tell them in an honest and straight-forward manner what they need to do to get better," Groh said in the 2000 New York Jets media guide.

Groh was 37-26 all time at Virginia before Saturday’s game.

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