Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Enter The No Experienced QBs on the Roster Zone

Welcome back to the Mediocre Athletics Factor, for this, the 2nd week of Pitt Football 2007. I'm your host, and I'm always in my seat 90 minutes before kickoff, even for Pitt-Greensburg vs Pitt-Titusville. Well, week one has come and gone. What were some of the highlights?

- We saw a potentially explosive backfield, as Larod Stephens-Howling and LeSean McCoy combined for 135 yards on 29 carries.

- There weren't any quick kicks.

- No slides.

- No one died.

Unfortunately, those were the highlights. The lowlights?

- The offensive line lived up to their name.

- Starting QB Bill Stull sustained a thumb injury, putting his championship thumb wrestling career in doubt.

- No quick kicks.

As seems to be the norm for Pitt Football since the early 80s, the season is over just as it begins. Pitt is now forced to turn to two green QBs for the next 4-6 weeks. Choice 1a has played organized football for only slightly longer than Britney Spears' marriages have lasted. Our second option is a QB who has been described as talented, but biblical. Call him the prodgial QB. Will Wanny and Cav open their arms and offense to the prodigal QB, or will they sacrafice lambs and goats and Chase Clowser's chicken wings at the altar of Kevan Smith? As a wise man once said, "Tmie will tmie". In either event, the Grambling game is quickly approaching, and the team does not have a leader. How will this affect the team's preparation for this grueling contest? Panther Rants has had reporters on the scene at practice all week, and their expert prognostication is that Pat Bostick our very own wandering QB, will be the starter for Grambling and the foreseeable future. The staff feels that the future is now, and as such will start Bostick, McCoy, and Lucas Nix on offense for the Grambling game. When asked how Pitt planned to have a high school senior play this week, Coach Wannstedt said, "He can't possibly play any worse than Vangas and Thomas played last week. I mean, Christ, they were practically pulling their best Roger Dorn impressions out there". Not an encouraging sign.

Additionally, when the onslaught of questions regarding Stull, Bostick, the offensive line, and the news that Wlat Harris was back in town and actually at the opener got to be too much, Coach Wannstedt melted down. Our able camera man wasn't able to capture the scene, as he was too busy shooting footage of Don Cannon falling down, however were were able to hire a famous thespian to re-enact the event. Please note, replace "playoffs" with "bowl game" for a more realistic feel.

Well that's it for this week. Not much to discuss regarding the Grambling game. I've heard great things about their band. This will be week 1 of the Pat Bostick Experience, so expect a lot of discussion in the coming days and immediately following the game. Don't forget to keep it here for your best source of hard hitting Panthers coverage.

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