Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Spannier Announces New Initiative

State College, PA - Pantherrants was on-hand at PSU's main campus for an announcement by University President, Graham Spanier. The President announced a tracking system of University racial incidents. "We are proud to announce that today marks the 6th consecutive day without a racial incident on campus. This might not seem like a great deal but considering that students moved in recently, we expected more landlords to be implicated in housing discrimination of our minority students."

Like factories with signs counting the days without a workplace safety incident, PSU will post a 150 X 100 foot sign outside Old Main to document the days. "This sign is about awareness. We want to display our commitment to the goal of decreasing racial injustice on this campus. The sign will be updated every day. There are also incentives - after 10 consecutive days, all white students will get a free treat from The Creamery. After 30 consecutive days, all white students will receive an autographed Justin King jersey."

When Spanier was told that this incentive program is itself racial discrimination, the President slumped his head, walked to the sign, and put up a zero. The press conference closed with a white student asking a Jewish student why he was wearing a baseball hat with no brim.

No comments: