This blog’s still in operation huh? I’ll be damned. When I did Ask Wlat a couple of times during the summer I thought, “there is no way humanly possible that these idiots will last.” I mean, there’s more attention deficit disorder on this site than in a fourth grade classroom. Yet this place is not only continuing but slowly beginning to thrive. You even have, gasp, comments from readers. Are these really readers or are you pathetic, you know, suckasses just playing patty cake on your own articles?
Regardless, I gotta a strip club buffet to devour so lets get to the picks.
Tennessee vs. Florida
This one’s easy. First of all, when Urban Meyer made me his bitch in the 2005 Fiesta Bowl he signed me to a four year deal. Secondly, Tennessee might be the most overrated team in college football. They allowed Southern Miss to play with them most of the game last week and the Golden Eagles racked up 350 yards. And Florida just has too damn many weapons. GATORS 42-24.
Notre Dame vs. Michigan
Watching this game will be like looking at a tour bus full of geezers that flipped over 17 times on it’s way to Atlantic City. You just have to tune in to see the horror. Notre Dame has an offense that my old friend Tom Freeman thinks is a thing of beauty. That said, here’s the key: Michigan’s last two losses have come against quarterbacks that can move. None of the 26 QB’s that Charlie Weis has thrown out there have shown that they can even throw, let alone run and throw. Charlie’s gonna know how I felt at the beginning of 2001 really soon --WOLVERINES 28-3
USC vs. Nebraska 8 p.m.
Oh yeah, like this is a tough one. Here, we have, you know, one of my closest friends in Pete Carroll going up against the guy who drove me, you know, bats hit nuts, Steve Peterson. Pete’s only played for the National title twice, won one, and won something like 16 BCS bowls. Since Steve arrived at Nebraska the Cornhuskers have, uhh, well, they won the Big XII North last year. Scrap that, they were the team that tried least hard to lose the Big XII North last year. Neither team looked very impressive in its last game. USC looked bored against Idaho and Nebraska needed a gift to beat Wake Forest. Nebraska will need about 17 gifts to beat USC this week --TROJANS 35-21.
Pitt vs. Michigan State
Pitt gets tested in a real game this weekend. They have a quarterback that will be making his second start while Sparty’s QB, Brian Hoyer, makes his third. That said, Michigan State has Jehuu Caulcrick and Pitt still has a collection of slaps up front. Yeah, they look improved since last season, but that was against EMU and Grambling. Now they’re playing a legit team with a massive offensive line. Not to mention Michigan State has already intercepted three passes in the first two games. Bottom line, Dantonio is a defensive coach and Pitt’s offense is lacking. Plus, hey, they pushed me out for Wannstedt. Think I’m gonna’ pick this guy? -- SPARTANS 28-14