Delany to Comcast, "I'm bringing out the big guns...seriously."

Fat10 Conference commissioner Jim Delany delivered a threatening blow in his conference's battle with cable television giant Comcast.

Nuclear war.

"If they don't accept our offer of putting us on their expanded basic cable lineup we'll be left with no choice but to declare war," Delaney said at a press conference in Chicago Wednesday.

When reminded by a reporter that the Fat 10 is a collegiate athletic conference and not a country with a military, Delany became irate.

"You telling me, with all of the the rich alums we have here in Fat 10 country we couldn't get ahold of one weapon to blow up their satellite?" Delany asked. "I'm fuckin' serious. If they don't take our channel, no one gets cable. No one."

Comcast executive vice president David Cohen, however, was not concerned about the threat issued by Delany. He said that Comcast's offer of placing the channel on a sports-tier digital package is still the only offer on the table for the Network and that no further offers will be made. When asked about the possibility of the conference using nuclear weapons against the cable company, Cohen stated that he's not concerned.

"If the nuclear missile is as slow as some of those Michigan players I saw Saturday we should have a good two weeks to reposition the satellite," Cohen said.