Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Sunday, September 23, 2007


Pittsburgh (PA) - We here at Panther Rants extend our deepest condolences to friends and family of Pitt football, who passed away last night at Heinz Field. It was over 100 years old.

Pitt football, which for a number of years had suffered from various ailments, appeared to be regaining strength in recent weeks, but hopes were dashed after last evening's events. It has been a long struggle for Pitt football for nearly two decades, when, in the 1980's, a fall from grace nearly broke it. In 1997, some form of success was regained, but after 8 up-and-down years, hopes began to dim. Then, in 2005, a resurgence was expected; alas, it was a false hope. The death of Pitt football last night after three increasingly weak years comes as something of a mercy.

Pitt football will be succeeded by its younger brother, Pitt hoops, who identified and claimed the carcass of its older sibling, and released the official death certificate.

The passing of a has-been legend.

1 comment:

vito said...

this should have been issued after the ohio loss in 2005