Pitt Releases Game Time Schedules

Pittsburgh - University of Pittsburgh Athletic Director Jeff Long released game times for Pitt football's 2008 home slate at today's press conference. As a follow-up to Pitt's previous release (see article below), game times for additional matchups were made available. "We have an exciting home schedule this year and are extremely excited to share further details," Long stated. "The Panthers will begin Big East Conference play on Saturday, September 22nd against the University of Connecticut with a start time of 3:47a.m." Asked about the odd start time, Long commented that, "the 3:47 start time does several things: first, it allows us to dominate local radio. According to ratings, there are exactly 30 people in Pittsburgh listening to the radio at that time. We figure we can get at least 10 to listen to the game. 1 out of every 3 radio listeners? That's market domination." Long continued, "the second reason for the start time is to allow our fans to avoid the traffic. And finally, the 3:47a.m. start time is when Buddy Morris says is our peak athletic time. Who am I to argue with Buddy?"

Long further described the second game on Pitt's slate. "The Grambling game will begin at an undisclosed time. Frankly, we'll just start it whenever we have enough players care enough to show up. We figure we need 11 guys to get going. Most of the team is planning on playing golf that day anyway. I also heard some of the guys talking about a BBQ complete with pig roast. You tell me which is more important. The conclusion is there is no hard and fast time but really, who cares? I'm not attending and I can't imagine why anyone else would."

Also released was the start time for the matchup with Syracuse University on Saturday, November 3rd. "Dr. Gross [Syracuse Atheltic Director] and I agreed to start the game at 4:20. We chose this time because we figured you'd have to be high to go to this game. At that point in the season, both teams will be well out of the Conference race and any bowl possibilities. Therefore, we're hoping a lot of potheads get confused and think it's a Phish concert. There's really no way to market this mess."

Long noted that the remaining game times will be released in the next 2 weeks. "We will be solidifying start times for the other games on the schedule just as soon as we get turned down by any and all television opportunities, including public access."