Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Pitt Football Scrubs the Cathedral

Buddy Morris, the new strength and conditioning coach at Pitt, has been working the Panthers very hard this offseason with many odd drills. Nothing was more odd today when the Panthers were running past the Cathedral of Learning. As they all kept running one person stopped and went on a big rage. Witnesses said Buddy Morris was showing his anger towards the progress of the scrubbing of the Cathedral.

Buddy yelled at his team to "stop the f*** right there!. How much are we paying these idiots to clean this motherf***ing place?!?!?" Buddy then ordered his players to grab a tooth brush and some Comet and "get the f*** to work on this s**thole!"

The players jumped on the scaffolds and started cleaning the Cathedral all morning long. At the same time, Fifth Avenue was backed up due to rush hour traffic. Buddy jumped on the street and yelled at the cars "to get the f*** to work you white collared pansies! This is Pittsburgh, not San Francisco!"

So what's next for Buddy and Pitt Panthers? Buddy mentioned that he will have the team lower the Cathedral down and carry it up Cardiac Hill once the cleaning is complete. With Buddy Morris back at it, there's no saying what he'll do next.

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