OAKLAND (PR) – At a late evening press conference Sunday at the Pitt Stop, corner of Forbes Avenue and Bigelow Boulevard, University of Pittsburgh athletic director Jeff Long unveiled an updated, simplified version of the Panthers' infamous torch-cut "Dino-Cat" athletic logo that has been in use since 1997.
"Today marks a great day in the history of Pitt Panther athletics," Long said in a prepared statement in front of crowd of one shopper and a panhandler.
Long described the inspiration for the new mark. "After a tremendous amount of fan input clamoring for the script Pitt logo, we decided to take the existing Dino-Cat and smooth the edges in Adobe Photoshop. The computer program did a swell job of negating the bias of our loyal fans and rendering a hyena-dog hybrid. Our football team stinks like cat shit and plays like bitches, so the new brand reflects our identity perfectly."
Reaction was mixed. Jim Snyder, editor of PantherLair.com, a website dedicated to stalking beefy man-studs recruited by Pitt, supported the change. "The new logo is another fine example of the Jeff Long's strong leadership here at Pitt," Snyder proclaimed. When asked if the statement reflected his true feelings, he remarked that PantherLair.com "does not want to hurt [their] chances in getting media credentials from the U."
Former Pitt athletic director Steve Pederson, now at the University of Nebraska, said "What the fuck?" Other fans likened the new logo to a beagle or pit bull.
Former head football coach Wlat Harris was unavailable for comment.
Long sought to defend his rationale of simply updating Pitt's graphic arts package rather than overhauling it completely and reverting back to the popular script Pitt, saying "we go half-assed or we don't go at all."
In related news, Long announced that he was out of peanut butter after his dog licked it all off his testicles and needed to run to Giant Eagle for a new jar. Currently, a pair of tickets to the Panthers' September 8th clash with Grambling is available with every purchase of Skippy™-brand peanut butter. Ticket supply is unlimited.
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