Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Pitt Interviewing Candidates for Special Assisstant Job

Pittsburgh - The insiders of Panther Rants have discovered that the Pitt administration is currently interviewing candidates for the Special Assistant to the Chancellor and A.D position, formerly held by John Majors. When speaking to Chancellor Nordenberg he stated that he was still gathering facts about the possible replacements. Jeff Long is away securing a 2 for 1 deal with Dartmouth and could not be reached for comment.

However, the insiders have obtained a list of candidates that have been interviewed. They include Jackie Sherrill, Foge Fazio, Mike Gottfried and Paul Hackett. Sadly, to us writers at Panther Rants, Wlat Harris will not be considered for this job. Qualifications include: Former Head Coach preferably at Pitt, chance to schmooze the old alumni and Golden Panthers Members, had to be around script Pitt and must of had some shortcomings as a head coach. It is believed that our very own Foge Fazio is the front-runner at this point. "He meets all of our criteria" a source stated to us. "He had so much to work with when taking over for Jackie Sherrill and let it all go in a few short years". Yet, another unidentified source said "the job may stay open until Dave Wannstedt officially sucks for two more years". I believe that it still is Foge's job to lose and I am predicting that he will be living in the old Major's household in a matter of days.

In other news, the University of Pittsburgh Athletic Department has really taken care of it's former scholar athletes. I knew all of those on field presentations would pay off. Former Wlat Harris lineman, Dan Stephens is the Varsity Letter Club Coordinator & Athletics Gifts Officer. Former Wlat lineman Penny Semaia is the Career and Life Skills Coordinator. Finally, former basketball walk-on Charles Small is the Student Life and Compliance Assistant. "I just tell them to remember that here at Pitt "We all we got" stated Small. He let's the students use him as an example. Small said "Look at me, I couldn't hoop". "I just hustled, hung around with Chevy and got lots of leftover white-tail and now I work for Pitt". Not bad Charles, not bad at all.

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