Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Cooking with Clowser

Pittsburgh - Pantherrants is happy to announce a new feature. Chase Clowser has agreed to contribute with his own article where he will share some of the secrets from his kitchen. So without furthe ado...

Chase here to say foude gude. Chase like eat...mahhhhhh. Chase like eat lots things. Chase once eat poop; he thought it piece of fudge. Not taste too bad so he ate more. Chase realee lyke chikn wings. Here how he maik.

1. Chase chase down bird in coop. He rips head off wif mouf.

2. Chase next boil chikn and rip dem fethers rite off.

3. Chase next cook chikn by putting on real hot car dashbored on realee hot day.

4. Chase next go to naybor's house when he not home. He take bbq sauce and make nose run juice (Chase not know what it called). He mix too of them together.

5. Chase then is sleepy from all da work. He drink bout 25 beers and take nap wif his his best friend, My Buddy. My Buddy always there for Chase in hard times. My Buddy some time talk to Chase after Chase drink beer and smoke the poop smelled stuff he get from Elija Fields.

6. Chase next get chikn from car. He rip apart and put in bolw wif the sauce. Chase then eat chickn wing very fast cuz he like eat chickn wing and chickn wing tast realee goude.

Chase also want say that he sometime skip cooking chikn. Like, if not hot outside for car to get hawt. Chase just eat chikn raw. Still good Chase think.

Chase thank Pitt fans and will give more recipey soon. Buy-buy!

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