Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Coach speaks, Beefy manstuds confused

Pitt Head coach Dave Wannstedt may have done more harm than good with a recent visit to five recruits in northern Virginia.

"Dude, I don't know what his deal is. It's like he's been locked in a closet since 1988," said Jamaal Newton, a Newport News, Va. recruit.
Although recruits said Wannstedt spoke positively about the University of Pittsburgh, the football program and the city, they also complained that many of his jokes and wisecracks were more than two decades old. Recruits said that Wannstedt frequently referenced TV shows and music that haven't been relevant since Walter Mondale ran for president.
"Dude came in the room and said, 'I know you guys would rather be watching Whos the Boss than be listening to a boring old football coach, so I'll be brief.' What the hell? Tony Danza ain't been on in almost 20 years an' shit," said Mark Waddell, of Virginia Beach.
But Wannstedt wasn't finished. He began speaking to the recruits about the nightlife in the city of Pittsburgh and told the crew that Chauncey's at Station Square was the epicenter of the club scene. Chauncey's was closed in 2004 after a drug bust. Then he told the recruits about the music scene, namely Nick's Fat City, the ELectric Banana and Metropol, all of which are noew closed.
"He said, 'they bring in all of them bands you kids like, like that Dead Leopards band and Motley's Crue? Huh? I never even heard of them muthafuckas," Newton said.
Despite the malaprops from Wannstedt, neither player said that they are ruling Pitt out...yet.
"If a booster drops by to gimme a 'new' car and it's a muthafuckin' Pontiac Fiero, I'm outta' here," Newton said.

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