Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Louisville Hates America

We at Panther Rants are saddened to report that the University of Louisville, like everyone who opposes the war, hates America.

We received an e-mail earlier this evening from from Jim Snyder, publisher of the Pantherlair, the Pitt site on the Rivals network. Jim is also known to most Pitt fans as the spineless choad who wouldn't stand up to renowned recruiting idiot Mike Farrell to save Jason Pinkston's missing star.

Snyder informed us that he was contacted by the University of Louisville asking that he use whatever influence he has (read as "none") to convince us to remove a joke posted here yesterday about Cardinals QB Brian Brohm. Thinking that we have WMDs (that's right, we have 'em, they're not in Iraq), Snyder also took occasion to condemn our actions.

We at Panther Rants find it downright frightening to learn that one of our institutions of higher learning has no qualms with attacking the most important of our fundamental rights as Americans - freedom of speech. The founding fathers of this great nation felt so strongly about this fundamental right that it was made the First Amendment to our Constitution. Louisville apparently skipped right over No. 1 when reading the Constitution. This action convinces us that the University of Louisville is a fascist organization which hates America and is bent on destroying its very foundations.

What is even more troubling to Panther Rants is the individual at the center of this issue - Tom Heiser, who describes himself as a "Louisville-born and a lifelong U of L fan. I'll be providing opinion and analysis of upcoming opponents, and discussing the team's play and other hot-button issues." Heiser (which, coincidentally, sounds pretty Aryan - sig heil), has some sort of little blog attached to the Web site of The (Louisville, Ky.) Courier-Journal. He's the one who initially took exception with something posted on Panther Rants.

We're not certain whether or not Heiser is a working journalist with the Courier-Journal. Frankly, we're praying that he's not. If he is, it's a sad day for American journalism when one of its own turns on the very same First Amendment that guarantees they can do their job without fear of reprisal.

We at Panther Rants are taking the stance that we will not change or remove the content in question. We are patriots and we will stand up for our rights as Americans. While we do not believe there is anything inherently humorous about Down's Syndrome, we do believe in our rights as Americans.

If we back down here, where does it end? When will the University of Louisville and Heiser be satisfied? Will pollsters have to rank them in the Top 10 to avoid offending Louisville's fans? Will Panther Rants have to avoid jokes about the toothless populous of Kentucky? Will Heiser be named the new Kaiser?

No, Panther Rants fans, we will not back down. We must not and we can not if only for principle and the sanctity of what we all believe in as Americans.

God Bless Panther Rants. God Bless America. God Bless Wlat.


Anonymous said...

I'd like to disagree. Down's syndrome is funny as all hell.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I'm a Louisville fan and I disagree with that request to remove your Downs comment.

You're free to spew both funny and really vile stuff -- as bad as any racial,etc. stuff I've seen from UK fans. And, I assure you, that's top notch redneck.

You're free to spew it-- are you intelligent enough to know when it's Hitler hateful?

Unfortunately not...

River_City_Rivalry_Champs said...

I'm pretty sure the material in question falls far short of being as offensive to the common American's sensibilities than a major university targeting a satirical Web site for censorship. That's Hitler hateful.

TJ said...

God Bless Panther Rants...

Let's all unite to protect our freedoms

Anonymous said...

When you grow up, I'll explain to you what's really Hitler hateful.

What a stupid clown

And you go on, defending this "joke"

That's what keeps me coming back

to see your train wreck of an explanation continuing

I don't see an outpouring of your blog "fans" coming to your defense
on this one

some actually do have common sense--and a sense of humor to know the difference between funny and something stupid wrong

Anonymous said...

Hey, U of L fans stopping by to say hi to this jerk

This guy is truly as redneck stupid as UK fans

No! He really is

I know it's hard to believe but just read a little...not too much, remember your IQ may suffer...

vito said...

I told you, they just do not get it.

River_City_Rivalry_Champs said...

You're absolutely right, Vito. You can't expect a bunch of red staters to understand the sanctity and importance of the First Amendment. Their kind would rather burn books and censor the media than live in a free society.

But as people who understand and cherish those values, it is our duty to allow them to continue to post their hateful and ignorant words here no matter how misled they are. Freedom of speech is for everyone - even those who would like to take it away.

I just find it ironic that they use the name "Hitler" in referring to us when its one of their anonymous posters using anti-semetic slurs.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Vito, et al

We do "get" it

And I'm using "Hitler hate" for a specific reason-- but you and Mr. Downs Syn here don't come close to "getting" it?

Shall we do a bit of anti-semitic humor here -- I have heard plenty of good "jokes" about greasy, pushy, big-mouthed, big nosed Jews in my day. They still get uneasy laughs among the stupid.

Ohhh, THOSE kind of jokes aren't funny? "Anti-semetic?" (By the way, ck your spelin)

Pulling out the Kike Kard, I see...

River_City_Rivalry_Champs said...

I apologize for the misspelling. Tell all of the Jew jokes you want. Like I said, this is America. We're big believers in the First Amendment.

It shocks nobody here that Kentucky is filled with a bunch of anti-Semitic Neo-Nazis.

Anonymous said...

What a joke!

Indeed, pulls out the Kike Kard, when the rub goes against you

We're not being anti-semitic, you dim bulb-- we're making a point

Now , unfortunately some PC from U of L has given you some First Amendment shelter for your Hitler hate. (Have you figured out that irony is behind my use of that term yet -- think about it, go ahead)

BTW, Mr. PhD, remember the EEGs?

I've owned health care companies asshole-- I know how the thing works, its relation to intelligence, and the rest of your drivel

That wasn't the point. It wasn't a literal "joke."

You just didn't get it, Ace

You operate at too low a "frequency"

River_City_Rivalry_Champs said...

1. There's no tidal wave of complaints against us.

2. You've got the wrong guy in the EEG conversation. That was the blog member who wrote the original "insensitive" post. Take up your beef with him.

3. Do you have to shave your head every day to retain membership in your club?

4. Yes, I do see the irony behind your words. You call us Hitler while we're exercising and protecting the First Amendment rights of all freedom-loving Americans while you want to practice censorship. Typical for a fascist redneck.

5. Thanks for visiting, your comments and patronage are appreciated.

Anonymous said...

"Down Syndromish face..." was the comment that's got all of you self-righteous hypocrites all riled up.

A) Actual people with Down Sydrome weren't attacked here, and the comment was not elaborated upon. Any condition could've been used, this was just the funniest visual.
B) None of you fair-weather UL human rights crusaders would give even the slightest sh*t if he said it about Andre Woodson, or Pat White, or anyone outside of your gilded little community

You all proved just how much better you are by attacking Jews, so congratulations. This site has never claimed to be "serious" in any way, and we read it for that reason. Because we get enough "serious" everywhere else. Don't read it if it bothers you. I'm sure there are plenty of health care company blogs that are just as riveting. Also you guys lost to Syracuse... we figured you learned how to lighten up by now

Anonymous said...

Keep fighting the good fight!

vito said...

Jesus Christ, give it up and move on.

To correct one of your Kentucky readers, I am a big greasy fat ass dago who has a large nose and has heard it all.

Anonymous said...

I find it "frightening" that the writer of Panther Rants is unsure on how the first amendment-freedom of speech works. The right to free speech has several restrictions which include defamation and hate speech, to name a few. Not only does the writer include defamation (which is slander and libel) in his rant against Briah Brohm and to all people who have Down syndrome, but more importantly, it is considered hate speech that is defamatory or causes incitement to violence. Therefore, you sir, the writer, is "attacking" the first ammendment, not Louisville. I guess if I was to say that the writer has a very small brain and small genitalia to match the size of the brain, would you, sir, consider this to be an attack on the constitution...or yourself. I'm just stating the obvious.

River_City_Rivalry_Champs said...

And you sir clearly have no grasp of communications law. We here at Panther Rants are not only well schooled in the First Amendment, but also in communications law.

If you care to actually do some research you would learn that Brian Brohm is someone who would be considered a public person. His protection from hate speech, defamation and libelous language is different from a private person. Are you familiar with the term "actual malice?" If not, Google it, moron.

The irony here is that, technically speaking, you're defaming one of our writers who is a borderline private person who may qualify for full protection from libelous communication such as your previous post.

Anonymous said...

Let me start with saying I am a Pitt fan and have a brother with Down syndrome. I did not laugh, but I certainly was not offended. What I find offensive is that no one can say anything anymore without someone being offended. All comments have to be “PC” and cannot poke fun at any race, sex, religion, disability, etc. Why can’t we just lighten up and take a joke as a joke? If I were Brian Brohm, I would probably be more offended by comments that I “absolutely stunk” and “looked … uninterested” (from Mr. Tom Heiser’s blog).

Brain_bhrom said...

I liek mashed potaters YAYYYYYY

Anonymous said...

"Let me start with saying I am a Pitt fan and have a brother with Down syndrome. I did not laugh, but I certainly was not offended. What I find offensive is that no one can say anything anymore without someone being offended. All comments have to be “PC” and cannot poke fun at any race, sex, religion, disability, etc. Why can’t we just lighten up and take a joke as a joke? If I were Brian Brohm, I would probably be more offended by comments that I “absolutely stunk” and “looked … uninterested” (from Mr. Tom Heiser’s blog)."

Why aren't there more people like you? Being offended for the sake of being offended is in these days...

Mel said...

UMMM Fort Knox is about an hour away! Oh, we really do hate America. Buddy the troops in our state are always one of the first to go and the last to come home! Have family in the military and this city and state have VERY STRONG values of wanting to protect our country! Anyway, I can't believe I'm write about this subject in a sports blog. Like I have copied my comment from the other post and will try to do so in every blog that I can..I'll say again:
Lost among U of L's struggles this season is this fact: Brohm did the right thing by coming back, both for himself and for U of L. Kiper ranks him the No. 2 quarterback -- better than he was at draft time a year ago. He also ranks as the No. 12 overall senior.

Although Brohm has fallen down the Heisman Trophy lists, he remains high in mock drafts, a solid first-round projection, better than he likely would have fared last season, given the presence of Jamarcus Russell and the plunge taken by Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn.

And let me indulge you with some football stats knowledge...which all the smack talk you do in these blogs I hope to god you know what stats are and what the abbreviations stand for. Lets start with Pat Bostick: RANKED 117th, GP-5, APP-130, COMP-83, PAC%-63.8, PAYD-769, PAYA-5.9, INT-7, PATD-4. NOW on to Brian Brohm: RANKED 2nd, GP-8, ATT-338, COMP-230,PAC%-8.9, PAYD-2993,PAYA-8.9, INT-6 and last BUT defiantly not least PATD-24. SOO you where talking about how poorly Brohm is doing, please! I know AS a team we have sucked this year, considering we had 6 Defense players go to the NFL and 2 out of 6 are top ranks in the NFL. BUT the ONE PERSON you pick...Brohm AND HIS FAMILY. This kid grew up eating, sleeping, and breathing football since he was a young boy. I mean his dad and brothers already proved that! And lets get back to why Brohm stayed. Well, his Draft standings improved this year from last year and he is an actual football player that wants an EDUCATION, as well. He want's to also finish his degree knowing that football is not the only thing in life!!!

In MY opinion you sound more like a stupid fan that only has stupid comments along with stupid jokes that probably really doesn't care about the sport in the first place and maybe gets off from making other people mad. I usually write in blogs on actual sport web-sites and talk to real sports fans of all kinds..even Pitt fans and when we talk smack to each other we NEVER belittle anyone like the way you did, joke or not!

I've said what I wanted say...because I also have my own opinion...right!

River_City_Rivalry_Champs said...

Mel's obviously a terrorist plotting to attack Ft. Knox. Someone alert the authorities.

Mel said...

Umm the beginning was a little sarcasm! You really are stupid! This is a sports blog but you guys sound like a bunch of 13 years old at a sleep over...worse then celebrity gossip BS. Thought you would start finally sticking up for you team or your University or your State BUT instead just embarrassing them! What the hell has Pat shown to ever even be worthy to talk about!! Come on...

Anonymous said...

Mel --

You fucking retarded war monger! Why do you root for Louisville? It's obvious that you never, ever went to school there. You are just a local, who one day dreamed of getting the GI Bill, just so your dumb retarded ass could go to school. But you ended up at Butler County Community College and now have your certification in TV/VCR and Gun Repair. You'd make Sally Struthers proud.