A Joyous Saturday (Afternoon) Spent Watching Football

Watched The Fighting' Suge Knights lose to fucking Kansas, which put me in a sour mood. This will in no way color my view of the rest of the day.

Fucking Fat Bastard Mangino.

Now watching the PSU-Iowa game. Watching it with about a 20-minute delay, so forgive the time disparity.

By the way, is there anything funnier than the announcers calling Morelli a toolbox? Oh, what's that? They're saying he has a toolbox? That must be where he keeps his tiny dinosaur brain.

This game could end up 6-4. Never thought these words would ever leave my mouth, but why couldn't I be getting FSU-NC State?

1:27 - Morelli overthrows a screen pass, and I when I say overthrows, I mean Yao on stilts couldn't have caught that shit.

1:33 - We're reminded by toolbox guy that this is D1 football. Watching these two juggernauts go at it, you might have forgotten.

1:37 - Play action on 3rd and Goal from the 5? Who the hell would bite on that fake? Is Matt Cavanaugh PSU's OC?

1:41 - I know people mocked the KSU video that's circulating on the internet, but you're telling me that's any more embarassing than this ridiculous Zombie shit they do at PSU? Do they hand out glow sticks when you come into the stadium? Please.

1:42 - AFLAC Trivia. Joe Paterno's basketball coach at Brown. I'm going with Dr. James Naismith.

1:50 - Fred Thompson's Volunteers are just rolling Georgia, saving his job in the process. You have to think that this takes time away from campaigning for him though.

1:55 - Touchdown PSU. Two of the most disappointing supposed super recruits in recent memory hook up for 6.

1:59 - Can anyone tell me what exactly Kirk Ferentz does to warrant being paid just south of $3 million per year?

2:02 - Door ding? Fix it. Annoying nick? Fix it! Retarded coaching staff? Uhhhhh, Fix it?

2:13 - Craig James says Caveman Jim Leavitt has done a good job refocusing South Florida following the WVU win. By the way, USF is tied with Florida Atlantic at the half.

2:17 - I guess I missed this when I was growing up, but C. Everett Koop is apparently a Mennonite. And holy shit, what is this? Evander Holyfield is fighting again? I'm not sure what's more surprising, that Holyfield is fighting again (at 44), or that the Heavyweight Champion of the World is some guy named Ibragimov. At this point, are more people watching the WNBA or Boxing?

2:26 - Austin Scott facing an undetermined future? I can see his future, and I don't even need a crystal ball. I see a lot of orange, and a ton of ass sex, in his future.

2:34 - Ok, time to turn to a competitive game. Kirk Ferentz, you're the dreamiest. Maybe Wazzu and the fighting Ericksons?

2:52 - USF continues to be focued on the task at hand, 14-14.

3:16 - What's more ridiculous, BC being ranked in the Top 10 or VT being ranked in the Top 15? Mangino you fat fuck.

3:29 - Horrible, horrible screaming in the USF game. One of USF's O-linemen writhing on the ground, but there aren't any feet pointing the wrong way, or forearms at 90 degre angles, so not sure what the issue is.

3:31 - The injury was cleared from the field quickly, my guess is the lineman hurt his vagina. USF goes for it on 4th and 2 and doesn't make it. One thing you want to do when you're playing a huge underdog is to give them momentum by going for it on 4th down. Good call, Caveman Leavitt.

3:35 - Kick catch interference on FAU...when a USF player ran into his teammate who was trying to field the kick. So.....how exaclty is that a penalty on FAU? Next play, USF scores. Hogwash.

3:47 - What a pass play by FAU! Going for 2 and.......no good.

3:54 - Does Grothe have a mohawk? What a douchebag.

4:01 - Caveman Leavitt assaults one of his players. Well done. Also, Boomer Sooner beats Texas. How much will the pollsters overrate this win on Monday? I'm guessing OU shoots back up to 6. Meanwhile, we have the greatest show on field turf in Death Valley. 12 minutes to go in the 2nd quarter, and VT and Clemson have combined for 77 yards of total offense.

4:10 - Poor FAU. Robbed by a poor call. And why isn't USF just taking a knee? From here on, I'll be referring to USF as a one-loss team. The BE is in hue trouble this year, if this is the lone undefeted team in the conference.