Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Navy Loss Explained

Blawnox - Pantherrants was called to the home of Pitt fan Henry Marzinski's home in Blawnox to discuss the recent Navy loss. Mr. Marzinki explained that Coach Wannstedt, Darrell Strong, McCoy, or Bostick had nothing to do with the loss. "It's all my fault, ALL MY FAULT," the long-time Pitt fan explained. "I just had to eat the wings. Couldn't stop myself."

When pressed for an explanation, Marzinski continued. "Any time I take off my lucky Zubaz, something bad happens. It started after work at the bar. It's happy hour; yinz know what I'm talking about. I git to eatin' some wings, which always gives me heartburn and sometimes the shits. Yinz know what I mean? So there it is, double over-time and I gotta hit the head. I run to the crapper just as we got dahn to the 2 yard line. I took off my zubaz to do my business. I come back and we lost."

Mr. Marzinski finished up. "Now I can't be sure and it probably means nothing, but so help me God, my turd looked just like VegasPanther/Brian01/Ironsworks. And I'm not into that voodoo stuff neither but who knows, ya know? Oh, and a big shout out to Donny working the counter dahn at Pep Boys. I told ya I'd get your name in print!"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Brian's my buddy - he wants to do my 80 year old Mom.

Anytime I think I'm f'ed up, I read one of his posts - then I realize life's not so bad...

It's all good.