Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Enter the Can We Sink Any Lower Zone



Before we get into it today, we here at the factor would like to inform you that we have a new host. No longer will we mock He Who Went to Bowls by slapping his head on Bill O's body. Instead, we slap the head of my surrogate team's mascot on Bill O's body. When your alma mater moves from mediocre to putrid, you need some mediocrity to fill the void. And since Bill Snyder left, Kansas State has been just that. And now we continue with our top story....ahh screw it. There aren't any Pitt fans left. Not after that debacle. Navy? We lost to Navy? How? They do one thing. They run the ball. Stop the freaking run. Put 10 guys in the box. 5 down linemen, 3 linebackers, and two safeties. One CB to cover the lone guy Navy runs out there to take up space. Is this difficult? Apparently, as Pitt played the SAME DEFENSE THEY ALWAYS DO. And guess what? SAME RESULT THEY ALWAYS GET. This makes us here at Panther Rants think of an old definition.......


And of course, giving up 330 yards rushing, nearly 200 passing, and 48 points can be laid at the feet of one man. Paul Rhoads. We here at the factor could understand the rushing yards if Pitt tried to change their defensive schemes up a little. Navy runs on everyone. But it is unacceptable to not try anything different after Navy scored on all but one posession in the first half. And the passing yards? Are you kidding us? Navy's QB, who likely hasn't thrown 100 passes in his lifetime, carved us up like Dan Marino. Factor contributor Bartholomew Simpson has filed an editorial with us, and we present it now (see right). Just abysmal. Next Saturday brings the Cincy Bearcats to town. The Top 25 Cincy Bearcats. Seriously? Cincy is ranked and Pitt is 2-4 and just lost to Navy? Is this the goddamn Twilight Zone? As Pitt stares down their fifth straight loss, and the Kansas State Wildcats look to rebound from their loss to rival Kansas and their Fat Bastard coach, stick with Panther Rants for hard-hitting analysis and hilarious self-pity you've come to expect from the world's most sarcastic Pitt (and now KSU and ASU) fans.
Oh, $200 if someone steals the River City Rivalry trophy so the Bearcats (whose logo looks suspiciously like Blackwater USA's) can't take it back to that filthhole they call home.

1 comment:

jenny craig said...

Hey mangino might be a fat ass but he can coach!