Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Enter the Irrational Exuberance Zone



Welcome overjoyed Panther fans, to the Factor for this Monday, October 22nd, 2007. I'm your host, and I'm always in my seat 90 minutes before kickoff, especially when we are about to whoop some Bearcat ass. As many of you who still follow this team are aware, Pitt defeated the University of Cincinnati Fighting Blackwater USA's 24-17 in front of literally thousands of screaming Panther fans at Heinz Field on Saturday. The victory, the first over a ranked team, and first as an underdog, in Dave Wannstedt's tenure, may mark a turning point in the season for the young Panthers. Solid offensive line play paved the way for two 100-yard rushers in LeSean McCoy and LaRod Stephens-Howling, and quarterback Pat Bostick was sacked just once. Additionally, the Panthers committed just one turnover against the ball-hungry Bearcats, who came into the game leading the nation in turnovers forced. Perhaps most impressively, Pitt overcame a 7-point halftime deficit in acheiving victory. But now, much like Justin Timberlake did to Britney, we must put Cincy in the rearview mirror and focus on this week's opponent, the Louisville Cardinals, the object of this week's He Who Went to Bowl Gaming Points Memo.


The Louisville Cardinals, led by first-year coach Steve Caveman Kragthorpe, come into this week's game fresh off of a loss on the road to the UConn Huskies. The Cardinals, a pre-season top-10 team, have struggled to a 4-4 record with embarassing losses to Utah, Syracuse, and UConn this year. Their once high-powered offense has been reduced to Jack Nicholson aged impotency, scoring just 28 and 17 points in their last two games. Many have questioned the wisdom of Brian Brohm returning to school to lead this ragtag group of miscreants, however one look at his down syndromish face gives you all the information you need to understand that particular decision. Seriously, was his mother drinking moonshine during the entire 9 months she was pregnant, or just the first two trimesters?

We here at the Factor were encouraged by the defensive performance of your Pitt Panthers on Saturday, providing hope that the Cardinals just might not return to their Houston Cougarish days on offense this weekend. And Louisville's sieve defense offers more opportunity for growth for the young skill players on the Panther's offense. It is possible LeSean McCoy could get to 1,000 yards on the season this weekend, as he's at just a shade over 800 currently.

In any event, make sure you're sitting in front of your TVs 90 minutes before kickoff this weekend, and cheer your BCS-bound Panthers as they take on the fighting Cavemen. And check back frequently this week as Panther Rants provides the hard-hitting analysis you need to make your college football weekend enjoyable.

34 comments:

-- Tom Heiser said...

As the U of L fan blogger, Brian Brohm fan and father of a 4-year-old with Down syndrome, I'd like to say how utterly tasteless and heinous your comments were. Disparage the Cards all you want -- heck, I'll join you in heaping scorn on this season -- but you have no business disparaging Brohm as a person or using the disability of millions as the fulcrum for your sardonic rants. Looking forward to a Cardinal rout on Saturday.

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

Thanks for stopping by!

I'm sorry you find that comment offensive, however it is a joke, nothing more. I fail to see where in the piece I was insulting individuals with mental retardation or calling for their ouster from society. I've had members of my family die from cancer (due to smoking), and I don't call for Denis Leary to retract his voicebox jokes. My wife is Jewish. I don't call for Lewis Black to stop making jokes about the Jews.

As for disparaging Brohm as a person, in questioning his decision to stick around for his senior year, I think I'm in the majority of people who have done so this year. You'll find no bigger critic of Greg Lee's decision to forego his senior year than I. Take umbrage with the form of my comments all you want, but as you said in your blog piece for the Courier-Journal, we're a satire site. If you honestly can't separate a joke blog from real life values ( I can only assume you think I walk around the streets mocking individuals with Down syndrome), then I'm not sure what to say.

Anonymous said...

Nice attempt at changing the subject, pal. But it's still not cool to say someone looks "Down syndromish." No one is trying to start a fight here. Can you just admit that it crossed a line?

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

Yes, I changed the subject. Totally changed it. Notice how I don't address any of his points, well, except for all of them. Totally skirting the issue.

Are there jokes in Kentucky? You'd think so, being as the residents are just one chromosome from being West Virginians.

Anonymous said...

Not good, guy.

Not funny, just crude and insensitive with the Downs Syndrome reference.

And I'm not being politically correct, and I actually get jokes. And I can assure you, crank more EEGs than you.

It's just using common sense and sensitivity.

And your explanation shows that you unfortunately...just don't get it.

Talk to a few people...who aren't insensitive a-holes...and you will find out readily enough.

And the chromosome "joke"...

Wow, that was sure an original one ...proves my point again.

Anonymous said...

You have no excuse and no way of justifying your weak attempt at sarcasm, satire or whatever you call your pathetic attempt at prose. You obviously have no idea how far over the line you stepped. At least have the brain to know that drinking moonshine has nothing to do with Down syndrome. If you want the enlightenment, it's a chromosome issue at conception that can happen to anyone -- no matter their race or social standing.

As the father of a 1-year-old with Down syndrome and a real journalist, I'll echo Tom Heiser and anyone else who chooses to see your comments for what they really are -- hate. Do some research on Down syndrome, or better yet, volunteer your time with some kids who have Downs and you'll see why your statement is nothing but crude.

And then you keep the misinformed rant going with another chromosome reference. Joke all you want, but you're idiot in this discussion.

Doug in San Antonio

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

Crank more EEGs. That's good. Granted, your statement makes no sense, as you're incorrectly using an acronym, but I applaud your effort. Much like your defense, you're trying, and that's all that matters.

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

"At least have the brain to know that drinking moonshine has nothing to do with Down syndrome. "

Doug, finally, someone gets it. Of course that doesn't cause Down syndrome. Hence, it is a joke.

I'm really amazed at the inability of people to separate reality from the blogosphere.

Anonymous said...

Nothing that makes fun of my son or Tom's son is a joke. That is the point.

Doug

Anonymous said...

Pragmatically speaking, the developmentally disabled who are continually disenfranchised and devalued by this language live down the block, in our schools, among our families. In increasing numbers, they pay the taxes to support your children's education. They vote, and they marry, and they daily fight the barriers of prejudice we erect with our speech. They are us, and hate speech against them is an affront and an injury to them and to everyone they know. Until a respected leader rises up to raise the stakes in the fight, the language must be changed by you and me.

Bandit Blog said...

Hilarious. Making a joke about someone less fortunate and handicapped.

But I guess you are used to it being since your team and coach have handicaps as well.

At least someone with a real condition has an excuse as opposed to a coach and team that have no clue.

Coach D.W. Never won at any level. Can't count Dallas.. He was Jones beatch.

Brohm puts up 40 on you Saturday. See who looks like a joke then. You would have a great site less the garbage.

Go Cards.

Loserville Luke said...

Maybe your wife shouldn't have been drinking so much moonshine, Tom.

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

Doug, please point out to me where I made fun of anyone's son (other than Mr. and Mrs. Brohm's son). And really, in about 8 months he'll be making so much damned money he won't care what the hell people write about him. I seriously doubt he cares now.

I associated Brohm's decision to come back to school for his senior year with a disorder, which has lowered intelligence as one of its primary characteristics. Is that in dispute? You can counter my argument that it wasn't smart for Brohm to come back, but the metaphor is apt in my opinion.

Did I say people with Down Syndrome should be shot or left out on the stoop like they do to unwanted baby girls in China? No. Did I say they are unloveable? No. Did I say I hated people with Down syndrome? No.

Lastly, the original commenter, in his blog piece for the Courier, says it wouldn't be as offensive to him if he didn't have a child with the disorder. Isn't that at all hypocritical? Would you have commented if your child did not have the syndrome?

And why no outrage from people who have alcoholics in the family for my insensitve portrayl of Mrs. Brohm as someone who couldn't stop drinking alcohol during a pregnancy?

Anonymous said...

"was his mother drinking moonshine during the entire 9 months she was pregnant, or just the first two trimesters"

That is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome...

I think this is what your ignorant mother did!

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

We've covered that, anonymous #4 (or is this Gerhard Ertl), but thanks for joining the discussion.

dehsdoow said...

Uh oh ... you've pissed off Louisville's remaining seven fans who haven't fallen from the bandwagon yet.

Can't joke with fundamentalist Christians, dude. They have no sense of humor. Neither do Hillbillies seriously hopped up on shine. That accounts for the whole state.

Oh, they're also smarting from being second to Kentucky in football now as well as hoops. At least we're superior to Penn State in round ball.

Thomas Nord said...

<<"I can only assume you think I walk around the streets mocking individuals with Down syndrome)">>

No, because it's easier to do it from the comfort and safety of your computer. You have a funny blog, but you said something really stupid. Stop digging yourself deeper into this hole.

Anonymous said...

What you and the guys don't get is that we're not pissed off about the comments being about Brohm or the team.

What we're trying to say is simple to most, but apparently...again, you just don't get it.

And again, for God's sake, we "get" the "joke" -- and the other ones too. Some show originality and are actually jokes, and therefore humorous. And a few are not-- the most offensive being the handicap "joke" we are all commenting on.

It's not about the teams or our joke intelligence level, man.

You have no D on this issue...

(And I wasn't using the acronym wrong, Ace. You just didn't...get it.)

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

Oh look, anonymous #2 is back. Please, enlighten me as to how cranking more EEGs (electroencephalographs) means anything? If you were at all knowledgeable on the subject (you aren't) you'd know that neither a higher frequency nor a higher amplitude of brain waves (which are what an EEG measures, Dr. Nobel) correlates to intelligence. But what do I know, I only have a Ph.D on the subject.

vito said...

90 minutes, you impress me once again.

I would love to have you negotiate my next union contract with management.

Hell, you are the best; I still read the blog even though you make fun of fat Italians.

UL fans have a hard time understanding, remember what I posted last week about Cincinnati.

Take care, I'm out..........

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

vito, the voice of reason. Good to hear from you.

Anonymous said...

here's one for you and your jew wife:

Tay-Sachs

or

Dor Yeshorim


"Mann tracht und Gott lacht"

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

Well played, anonymous #7, I was wondering how long it would take till someone swung at that softball.

Anonymous said...

You people are ridiculous, get over it. Some idiots actually come to this site to hear Down's Syndrome jokes, or any crude tasteless jokes, because you can't go to Kentucky to hear them. Because they're funny, and not real. They're freakin jokes. Don't like it? Stay in Kentucky, protect your family, and avoid that one Starbucks that has the only intra net access in the state. And for those of you trashing this blog outside of Kentucky.... shame on you, you have no excuse

Anonymous said...

The Pitt Athletics department doesn't agree. They've been very gracious and unnecessarily apologetic -- not to mention the spate of correspondence I've received from Pitt grads and fans. As interesting as well-written as I find this blog, the overarching discourtesy is amazing. Go Cards! Go Panthers!
-- Tom Heiser, U of L fan blogger

Anonymous said...

Kill all the Jews, blacks, retards, and other unsightly people in this world!
Of course, that's a joke....

Anonymous said...

I am sure your mother is proud!! Well said!!

Anonymous said...

Why am I not surprised that Tom Heiser would overreact so ridiculously. He couldn't even respond to someone else's blog without throwing in "disparaging," "fulcrum," and "sardonic." The simple fact that he can't let go of his vocabulary obsession suggests he's an extremely unhappy man. People take so many things in life way too seriously. It's possible to say something dumb without being a bad person or having any truly hurtful intent. But then the manufactured outrage bandwagon starts rolling, and doesn't stop until the person who made the mistake is viewed as comparable to Hitler.

Anonymous said...

I'm an unsightly person in this world and I take offense to that.

Anonymous said...

Let's see here, Louisville is a larger, much more prosperous city than Pittsburgh.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_cities_by_population

Why don't you guys take your decrepid, decaying steel town and go collect unemployment. Louisville is a growing modern city with way more nightlife and construction than Pitt. So much for the hillbilly and moonshine jokes:

www.museumplaza.net

The ignorant Down Syndrome jokes are tasteless. Oh, and by the way, Louisville is largely Catholic.

Anonymous said...

Aww sounds like somebody's unhappy to be swirling in the backwater

Anonymous said...

Really I don't see the problem. Truth is People with Downs Syndrome have a certain "look" and its a look that Brian Brohm shares. No shame in that.

Kentucky just might be worse than West Virginia

Anonymous said...

anonymous apologizes:

I would like to apologize for my insensitive, careless remarks. I did not really know much about Downs Syndrome and my attempt at humor obviously failed.

Anonymous said...

I also, at this point, want to acknowledge that I make a lot of eugenics-based humor as a defense mechanism. While I call myself a male, I was born with female "parts" and have always struggled with this emotionally. Please have sympathy for me.