Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Cincinnati inks deal to be "new BC."

BLAWNOX (PR) -- Insider sources have confirmed that University of Cincinnati has signed a 10-year contract to be Pitt's "new Boston College."

"This is an ideal situation for us since it's now apparent that we can't beat Pitt when we're ranked or when both teams suck royally, kinda' like Boston College," said Bearcats head coach Brian Kelly in a telepathic interview.

Cincinnati lost to Pitt 24-17 Saturday afternoon at Heinz Field. The Panthers have a 7-0 all-time record in the series against the Bearcats.

The Eagles have a 13-16 all-time record against the Panthers, including losers of four of the last five games. The two teams have not met since 2004, BC's last season in the Big East before bolting to the Atlantic Coast Conference. Pitt won the final meeting between the two teams 20-17 in overtime in a season when Boston College was expected to win the conference championship.

Pitt head coach Dave Wannstedt was elated by the news.

"This is a tremendous load off of our shoulders. Cincinnati brings a lot more to the table than BC ever did. For starters, they have more than 19 fans. Secondly, we don't have to deal with that pretentious New England crap. And Katt Williams is 10 times funnier than that no-talent hack, Dane Cook. Lastly, I'll take Pete Rose over Wade Boggs every day of the week," he said.

7 comments:

River_City_Rivalry_Champs said...

Yeah, but, how many beers could Pete Rose drink on a cross-country flight?

vito said...

At least a case or two.

wool said...

yes, cinci has more than 19 fans. in fact, they have 27 fans. there were more pitt fans at the game last fall in cinci then there were cinci students at the game.

Anonymous said...

This is the worst attempt at a humorous sports blog I've ever seen.

vito said...

Wool,

UC fans are much worse than Pitt fans because; Pitt football has been irrellevant for ONLY the last 25 years, UC football has been irrelevant since the inception of their football program.

Give us Pitt fans another 10 years and we will be able to relate with the UC football fans on their level.

vito said...

Whats up with the cat basket link?

When I click it on, it is coming up as some type of religious rant.

Did they finally seen the light and give up on Pitt football? or Did they block me because I pissed them off?

Those boys at the cat basket are way too serious and have no sense of humor. Give them about 5-10 years they'll come around and finally understand the true frustration of Pitt football.

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

Anonymous, thanks for stopping by!