Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Saturday, July 14, 2007


No More Adidas?

Pitt Basketball is in talks with another shoe company as they are rumored to get out of their contract with Adidas. Pitt is looking for a much better deal. So far, the AD has been talking with Pro Wings, AVIA, LA Gear, and British Knights. We’ll have more information on this as this story develops

Pitt Stop for Sale

Chas Bonasorte, the Kamikaze Kid, has been selling his merchandise around the Cathedral for many years and is looking to call it quits. The Pitt Stop has been a success since Chas’ “The Chas Bar” in Hazelwood until it burnt down many years ago. Chas has been attending classes and is looking to move to North Carolina to sell his line of Pharmaceuticals. Stay tuned for named brands of Niagra, Clialus, Bantac, and Draxil to hit the shelves soon at discount costs.

Pitt-Navy to be rescheduled

After the Penguins released their home schedule for 2007-2008, it seems one of their games is on the same night as Pitt plays Navy. Pitt is now in talks once again with Navy to reschedule the game. The game was moved from Saturday due to the Star Trek convention being in town that weekend which means not a lot of the Pitt band will be in attendance. Pitt band declined comment and told us to get the hell out and that bandies don’t all like Star Trek. Maybe they’re Star Wars fans. We were afraid to ask that. One band member who goes by the bandie name of “Starfish” said “he’s very excited about the convention and will drop out of school if the game is moved back to Saturday”.

Chevy Dealer files lawsuit against Morris

Chevrolet is filing a lawsuit against Pitt’s strength and conditioning coach, Buddy Morris. Buddy recently made a deal with 1990 Lincoln to use this car for the Pitt Football. Before that, Morris was in talks with Chevy to use an old model Caprice Classic. Talks fell through and Buddy picked up the car and launched it through the dealership’s window. The dealership is seeking payment for damages to the car, a new window, and 10 dollar season tickets to hand out after each car purchased.

Zelda’s to Re-Open

The popular bar back in hey-days of most Pitt students, underage ones at that, is set to re-open this fall. There will be an “under 21” night and you must have photo ID to get in. Student discounts will be provided and trap doors will be installed for a better get-away.

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