Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Enter the No New Year's Day Bowl Zone

Good evening, and welcome to the #1 show that dominates Pitt Athletics, the Mediocre Athletics Factor. I'm your host, and I'm always in my seat 90 minutes before kickoff, making me a better fan than the rest of you slaps. Our Wlating Points Memo today deals with some of the bad news that has befallen Pitt fans recently, namely the crossing off of their list of Pitt by Terelle Pryor and Shayne Hale. Walting points understands the gnashing of teeth and howling that has been coming from all 13 of you who follow the recruitment of beefy man-studs. If you'll recall, our sponsor, Wlat Harris, was famous for not being able to land the stud blue-chip recruit. Hell, this is a guy who couldn't identify Justin King if he was in a lineup with a bunch of Metal Church cover bands (see right). And don't get us started on the glut of two-star fellatio performers that Wlat recruited to man the trenches. Yes, Wlating Points is all too familiar with recruiting failures. So Wlating Points has a suggestion. Embrace the mediocrity. Imagine the world of possibilities. We could be like Penn State and bastardize Marshall's famous chant. "We Are!".........."Mediocre!". We could replace Roc the Panther with Spicoli the Slacker. We've already got the AD in place to take us to Mediocreville with no layover. Make it happen, Panther faithful. Just Do It Half-Assed.

And that's tonight's Wlating Points Memo. Now our top story, was Jeff Long really the trigger man behind the death of Archduke Franz Ferdinand?

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