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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Labor Strife Among Giant Flag and Jet Man Union Threatens Home Opener

Pittsburgh --- Unless labor negotiations improve between Aramak and the International Brotherhood of Carnival Barkers, Spencers Gift Store Clerks and and Purveyors of Fine Entertainments (IBCBSGSCPFE), the home opener between Pitt and Eastern Michigan may be in jeopardy, according to University officials. "We had a star studded bonanza in place to supplement the action on the field, including the unfurling of the world's largest flag and having the game ball brought into the stadium by a man in a jet suit," Jeff Long said in a telepathic interview. "Unfortunately, that is all in jeopardy right now. And without the extra attendance that these attractions bring to what would otherwise be a unremarkable game, I doubt whether it would be worth playing the game from a pure economics standpoint."

Long said that he is scrambling to fill the slots with other attractions, but late August is the highwater mark of the county fair circuit and unbooked acts are few and far between. However, it does appear that the Kerry Livgren Project has an open date on September 1, and the possibility of unfurling the world's largest Slovokian flag has not been eliminated.

1 comment:

Lispin' through a whole in a paper heart said...

Easy answer: Jet suit man bobblehead day!