Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Pitt's "Special" Teams


Heinz Field - In another display of fantastic coaching, Pitt's "special" teams allowed South Florida to run an obvious fake punt for a first down. Not to be outdown on the defensive side of special teams, Pitt's field goal squad then faked a FG, which was not executed well and resulted in a turnover on downs. Pitt head coach, Dave Wannstedt, elaborated. "Our special teams truly are 'special.' Everyone gets a participation award for their play. Call it a part of Pitt football reaching out to the disadvantaged. Everyone knows what special teams coach, Charlie Partridge, is...what do you call the slow kids this days?...handicapped, or whatever. We'll just say he drools a lot. But it's good for the kids to be around those types - they learn to spend time with those that don't have all the gifts they do. Pitt started this program years ago when we hired that retard...I mean..'challenged' guy, Brian Deal, to handle recruiting. That worked out so well that we brought on Paul Rhodes and now Partridge."

Pitt special teamer Mike Yancic commented. "It's great to spend time with Charlie. He's a real nice guy - always trying to get us to give him candy. Always has a smile on his face. Sometimes he gets upset real easy but someone just rips a fart and he starts laughing again."

Coach Partridge echoed his joy at being involved in the program. "Charlie like having friends. Coach treat him real good - give him chicken nuggets and ice-cream!"

7 comments:

vito said...

will the fuckin misery ever end?

Yeti said...

Just wait until we get our asses handed to us by the hoopies on Dec. 1.

Anonymous said...

Damn, yeti, you're ball-aching already the kickoff hasn't occurred yet.

dr jimmy said...

Didn' t USF run 2 fake punts last year?

Wlat 3:16 said...

actually, USF's offensive gameplan was the fake punt formation. more effective than anything else they could think up.

dr jimmy said...

WLAT, your right, the caveman said that on TV.

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