Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Paul Rhoads makes a vow....



(Pittsburgh)(PR) In an exclusive telepathic interview today, Panther Rants has learned that Paul Rhoads has taken a new vow and it is directly related to Pitt Football. Paul stated that he will not shave until Pitt returns to a bowl game. Rhoads said "I was going to set my sights a little higher, but we have sucked so bad that I figured that I would at least set an obtainable goal." Paul is well on his way with a full goatee. There has been some speculation that Pitt's Defensive Coordinator has went to the mountains and witnessed the burning bush. Panther Rants has learned that this is the truth. We have seen a pathetic defense start to come into it's own in recent weeks and has actually shown some promise for the near future.

There is no way that kind of transformation happened on it's own. It had to be Divine intervention. Yet, others believe that he had a lunch meeting with the chosen one himself Walt Harris.


In a related event if Pitt does not make it to a bowl Paul has already sent video to his old coaches favorite band, ZZ TOP for an audition in advance. "Hell, Walt told me that they are awesome in concert and that I would probably have a nice beard and out of a job" stated Rhoads. We feel that it would be a perfect set up as well. Panther Rants wishes you well Mr. Rhoads.

3 comments:

maggie the magnanimous mammal said...

'cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man...

Anonymous said...

at least he's not a drunk.

johnny walker said...

You never know anonymous!