Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Jersey high school, "we want our stadium back."

Paramus Catholic high school in New Jersey has asked Rutgers University if they can have theirstadium back at the end of the season.

The Scarlet Knights allegedly "borrowed" the field from the schoolafter many unsuccessful attempts to draw fans to the New JerseyMeadowlands for games. However, much like a typical neighbor in atypical housing development, Rutgers has yet to return the stadium. Paramus school president Father William DeBlase said in a telepathicinterview that he is hoping to recify the problem as soon as the Scarlet Knights season is over.

"Look, if these were some hedge clippers or a rake, I'd say 'hell withit,' but this is a bit bigger than that," DeBlase said.

Since Rutgers "borrowed" the stadium, Paramus has been playing at anearby public park, making it difficult to enforce ticket policies andgenerate revenue. DeBlase said he has mentioned the issue to Rutgers preisdent, Richard McCormick, but that there has been no movement.

"I was raking some leaves in the yard when McCormick pulled into his driveway. I said, 'hey umm, Dick, you wouldn't happen to be finished with that stadium you borrowed yet, are you?' He said he'd take a look for it. What the hell does that mean? You're either done with it or you aren't," DeBlase said.

Meanwhile, Rutgers has painted the stadium red and treated it like its own. Repeated requests for telepathic interviews with Rutgers officials were not returned.

With Rutgers reaching bowl games the past two seasons and eligible for a third this season, DeBlase is hoping that Rutgers will either build its own stadium or keep Paramus' and build the catholic high school a new stadium. Rutgers, depsite having three winning seasons in the past713 years, has speculated about expanding its stadium to have an additional 20,000 empty seats for when times are lean again. DeBlase said he doesn't care what happens with his current stadium as long as his school's football team has a place to play.

"It would be nice if they gave back the basketball gymnasium too, but we'll worry about that later," DeBlase said.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey you guys. ben roethlisberger called; he wants his field back. crappy as it is you guys have been hogging the ketchup on saturdays for way too long now.

"In 2006, the NFL Players Association conducted a poll in which the grass at Heinz was selected as the worst grass field in the league."

also, the late 70's called too, and they said they want to have your 45 remaining fans. and your coach's mustache.

keep trying guys! your blog is gonna get fucked.

River_City_Rivalry_Champs said...

LOL ... hey buddy, Saturday Night Live from the 90s called, they want their bit back.

Also along these lines, the last 100+ years of organized college football called to remind you that you're a pathetic program.

Rutgers - where being a fictional gangster makes you the most accomplished alum.

iwishiwasingoodfellas said...

rutgers is full of nappy headed hoes that cannot be trusted. Secondly, they are eyetalians and nothing more needs to be said.

Rated ugliest campus in america by princeton review

vito said...

How do you fuck a blog?