Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Weekly Update With Foge

White Oak (PR) Foge took time last week to do a little relaxing and play golf. We caught up with him at Luciano’s in White Oak.

PR: Why Luciano’s?

FF: They have excellent pizza and I have been in the mood for a good massage. Kyoto Spa is right down the road. I can kill two birds with one stone.

PR: Happy Ending?

FF: No Comment

PR: What are you taking back for Wanny?

FF: He wanted a Pizza with pepperoni and anchovies, but I will not allow any fish. That is well documented here about the fish. I substituted mushrooms, so he’ll get a pep and mush pizza.

PR: To the game, was it as big a win that everybody is making it out to be?

FF: Absolutely! I mean any win that Dave gets is a big win. He is not even at .500 yet. So yes, it is a big win. Plus, Iowa is from the most overrated conference in the country so Pitt will get some credit for this win nationally.

PR: Were you impressed with the offense?

FF: From what I heard Cavanaugh did not make it to the game until the second quarter. I heard that a certain ex-coach was calling our plays from his seat. When Matt arrived, he promptly took over but was slurring his play calls.

PR: Can you elaborate as to where Matt was for the first quarter?

FF: No, but I think Steve P sent him to the Kyoto spa.

PR: Did he leave early?

FF: From what I understand, there was a brief exit in the 4th quarter but he was back in time to call the plays at the 2:44 mark.

PR: What do you think of Cav’s bubble screen passes to the WR?

FF: If Cav ever calls another screen, flanker screen or bubble screen, he should be handcuffed and led from the stadium. That play has not worked all year or last year for that matter.

PR: Did you see where Dave was asked about Greg Cross and he responded we had about 6 plays for him but just didn’t have the right time to use him? What are your thoughts about that?

FF: I am not sure when the right time to use him would be then. I mean, the kid as quick feet, scored a spectacular TD on his first play but then sits for the rest of the game sans one awful play call at the end. I just have to keep asking coach about it. Maybe ¾ of the game he should be in there and Billy Stull should sit.

PR: What do you think about Bill Stull?

FF: His name fits him. Bill Stull, stall; get it.

PR: Yeah, we get it Foge.

FF: I mean he’s okay, but damn it, he’s as fidgety as Wyndell Williams in a prison shower. The minute he sees a defensive player, the ball is over thrown, under thrown or he just freezes to get smashed. I can’t believe that Pat Bostick could not beat him out. He had a rough game.

PR: What do you make of Shady’s fumblitis?

FF: Not sure. He just has to start holding onto the ball. Case closed.

PR: Scott Mckillop getting handled and missing more tackles?

FF: Scott was up and down and still needs to be more consistent. He did have another ole’ miss of a quarterback. He says all of the right things, however. Uses all of the right clichés. He’ll make an excellent coach or politician one day.

PR: What about Kirk Ferentz’s coaching?

FF: Wow! When you make 3 mill and coach the way he does, it’s amazing he is still employed. Any time Dave out coaches somebody it’s an eye opener. Kind of like the blind leading the blind but hey Dave was the best coach on the field yesterday. With the exception of a former ex-coach, who called the plays in the first quarter.

PR: Can we beat a horrible Syracuse team by at least 2 touchdowns?

FF: I think so, but if anyone can bitch this thing up Wanny and Cavvy can. In all honesty Fralic, Hillgrove, myself and eight slobs from the Original Hot Dog Shop can go up to Syracuse and win. They just beat Northeastern by 6 points last week. I would say that with Pitt’s players, they should win by 24 (37-13). With Wanny and Cavvy at the help, look for Pitt to win 26-17.

Well, thanks Foge for being able to sit down with us this week. We’ll see you next week and uh, hey where is that massage place?

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