Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Big Game Aftermath

Blawnox (PR) Ahhh! Finally, back to civilization. After my initial report of the big game, I promised to do a follow up of the tailgating, the game itself and the celebration or sorrow that immediately followed the final whistle.


I have to admit it folks; the Hawkeye faithful really have clung to trying to imitate the Steeler Nation. They are hardcore partiers and they eat like a kid with Prater Willi syndrome.

I stopped by several tailgates throughout the morning. John Saxson of Cedar Rapids, a longtime Black and Gold Fan, said, “who are you rootin’ for man?” When I told him that I was a reporter from Pittsburgh covering the big game and that I was in fact cheering for the Hawkeyes, he was elated. Miller Lite was being thrown my way as well as steaks, potatoes and of course corn. And I mean lots of corn. Mr. Saxson just wanted to know if there were any farms around the Pittsburgh area that I could hook him up with.

Megan Murray of Iowa City showed me use 97 and 98 of the 101 things Iowa women do with corn. WOW, and I thought yinzer women were skanks. Good show though, and now I know where the word corn hole came about. You just have to love the Hawkeye girls.

The Big Game:

Thank God for the rain, and this drunk who kept blowing chunks from his nose. Those were the only things that kept me awake. Iowa State is just plain bad. Coaching stinks and the players are sub par. Iowa has some very talented players, no doubt about it. They have a running back that although he has a hard time reading and writing, is big, strong and fast. He is hard to bring down. Kirk”don’t call me Kurt” Ferentz plays as close to the vest offensively as Wannstache. So I am anticipating a 13-10 ballgame on Saturday.

We Pitt fans thought that our River City Rivalry trophy was hideous. The CyHawk trophy is downright embarrassing. This thing looks like a plastic trophy that is handed out at midget league banquets. It was also very flimsy with the top being broken off at one point of the celebration festivities.

Post Game and Celebration:

Again, going back to Megan Murray and her showing us some interesting things to do with corn; it appears as if some male students and student athletes just couldn’t contain themselves in the post game celebration. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but geesh guys, you could have at least waited until you get back to your barns.

Downtown celebration was pretty fun. I have to give credit, they partied all night. I ended up at Miss Iowa’s apartment where I was stationed until Wednesday.

Thanks Miss Iowa. I understand why you didn’t want me to leave. I know its hard to find someone in Iowa that doesn’t have manure on their boots and doesn’t think that fine dining is an Arby’s, but I did have a nice time with you. I’ll see you Friday night for a nice long weekend.


Dr. Prader said...

What is "Prater Willi syndrome"?

Inadvertent comedy is the best kind.

Anonymous said...

That's a pic of Miss Iowa? No wonder they violate pigs there.