Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Monday, September 15, 2008

The SLAP 10!

10. Syracuse

It really couldn't get any worse for Syracuse. They should be thankful Penn State pulled their starters out after the first quarter. Syracuse and Pitt will be a matchup to look forward to. We get to see which coaching staff out-dumbs each other.

9. Washington

It couldn't get any worse for you guys either. You lose to BYU on a blocked extra point. Before that, you get flagged for excessive celebration. This past weekend, you get clocked by Oklahoma. Looks like Ty Willingham will be sending out resumes pretty soon.

8. Rutgers

The Scarlet O' Hara's fifteen minutes of fame are gone with the wind. Two straight home losses. Fresno State gave Wisky a game so that loss doesn't hurt as much. Then you're routed by North Carolina. Looks like Rutgers is re-living their glory days. It gets better the next two games. You get Navy and Morgan State. No need to give the middle finger to the camera people anytime soon. You can just heckle Navy like you did last year.

7. Kansas

Plenty of time left. You're moving the ball and maybe headed to field goal range. Instead, you take a shot at the deep ball and South Florida ends up in field goal range. Not to mention you blew a ten point lead. Oh well, this game saves the Fatgino's the sting of getting routed by Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship.

6. Auburn/Miss. State

3-2 game. One field goal. That's all you got was one damn field goal?!? This makes the 2004 PSU-Iowa game look like a shootout.

5. Purdue

Games like these are why we'll miss Joe Tiller when he's gone.


Bad weekend for you guys. Six teams in your conference lost. Shame the whole Big East didn't play this weekend, or you wouldn't be on this list. USC will sleepwalk through the conference. Hell they should just give USC the title now.


After an emotional win against Tennessee, you guys bitch it up badly against BYU. Worst loss in a long time. Not much else needs to be said.

2. Rich Rodriguez

Looks like you're on your way out the door. It's only been three games. When you're only offensive weapon is Rudy-lookalike, you have issues. You're running your WVU offense with a personnel that doesn't seem to be a good fit for it. Penn State will be ending their losing streak against you. Ohio State may wipe the floor against you. Hell, you might be bowl-less for this season. If WVU bitches it up, you can always go back there. Well maybe not...they hate you.

1. Ohio State

For days, we were subjected to the endless advertising of the "Collision at the Coliseum"! There was a collision. More like a bug against a windshield. Ohio State reminds us of the Buffalo Bills of the early 90's. You're so good, that no one can beat your conference. Then you play a big game against a good team from a power conference on a big stage...and you...well...can't win. Now that this game is over and Michigan stinking, we won't be subjected to endless advertising of the OSU-Michigan game months before the game is actually played.


Anonymous said...

Is the guy in the top left of that pic jacking off?

TotalDouche said...

Look at the juggs on that girl in the blake!