Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Pitt Men's Soccer Update
Pittsburgh - The University of Pittsburgh Men's Soccer team began practices this week with a strong attitude and excitement for the upcoming season. Coach Luxbacher stated that player morale has never been higher. "Everyone is really pumped up. The Athletic Department has really taken care of us. We've enjoyed great support this year to help the team take the next step."
Coach Luxbacher referred to several changes. First, the team received new goals and nets. "Last year we had to used a bunch of old, tied up t-shirts as our net and wire hangers to hold them together as the goal. This year, we've got trashbags, the heavy duty ones, and some unused plastic. This will protect them from the rain. In addition, it will eliminate injuries to the players getting stuck on the protruding metal. Also, the Hill District youth program had a fundraiser to get new soccer balls. We were able to secure funding to purchase their old ones. No longer will we have to practice with rocks and stones. This will go a long way to prepare for Big East play."
Pantherrants also learned that the team has finally secured an on-campus practice facility. "Chris Ferris was able to negotiate the space in the 33rd floor bathroom inside the Cathedral of Learning for our practice. We are able to use the bathroom between the hours of 3:00am to 3:45am every 3rd Wednesday. Obviously, we have to vacate in case someone has to do their business. It's not Wembley Stadium or anthying but we're making real progress, and that's what's important...always moving forward."
Senior Leader Tom DeCato commented on the welcome additions. "When I came here as a freshman, we didn't have anything: no equipment, funding, or facilities. Now we have all this. I want to publicly thank the Athletic Department for the great support."
When asked for comment on the team's outlook for 2007, Athletic Director Long stated, "Men's soccer team at Pitt? Yeah, I'm happy to talk about it all day. You have some questions for me about aliens and Sasquath too? [laughing]"