Local Pitt Fan's Wife Does Not Appreciate Terrific Clock Radio

Pittsburgh---Despite having superior sound, better ease of use, and larger numerical display than that the previous piece of crap clock radio, the wife of a local Pitt fan still does not particularly care for, or even respect for that matter, the new clock radio purchased by the local Pitt fan. The recent purchase was prompted by years of frustration on the part of the local Pitt fan with the old clock radio, which suffered from tinny sound, no CD player, poor reception, faux wood casing, obnoxious alarm, and a shockingly bright red display. However, when the newer, better clock radio was brought home, it was ill-received by the Pitt fan's wife, who complained that "there were too many buttons---oh, I can never figure those things out." The rejection of the clock radio went further when the local Pitt fan's wife plucked the old clock radio from the garbage and began using it, side-by-side, with the new clock radio. The dueling clock radios co-existed in begrudging peace until recently, when the ultimate "slap in the face" to the superior clock radio was administer by the local Pitt fan's wife. Specifically, the local Pitt fan came home from busting his ass all day long and wanted to listen to his CD while changing out of "monkey suit." Unfortunately, the newer, better clock radio was missing because the local Pitt fan's wife decided to lend it to a neighbor in the process of moving who was in need of a source of music. Why she couldn't have given away that crappy piece of plastic that the local Pitt fan suffered with for years upon years remains undetermined. However, one thing remains certain: This isn't finished yet. Not by a long shot.