Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Pitt Fans Excited for 2007 Campaign

Pittsburgh - Pantherrants did some on the street investigating on the mood of the good folks around town. Many described feeling a connection to the 2007 Panthers. Swissvale resident, Nancy Jenkins, commented. "These guys aren't getting any credit. They've been working hard and have a lot of young local guys. I think they will surprise some folks; I will certainly be interested in following them for at least the first half of one game this year."

On our walk-about on the South Side, we ran into professional campaign loser, Mark Rauterkus. "Football is like political campaigns - you have several tries to get it right. That's why this Pitt team will do ok. They will not put all their eggs in one basket, or even two. They will keep fighting, just like me." When asked what he was running for, Rauterkus stated, "Well, I'm like Julius Jones - I just keep running. This time around it's for City Council, Auditor, Sheriff, Most Likely to Succeed, Ticket Taker at the local Cineplex, and Head Wheeley Popper." When asked which he is most excited about, Rauterkus continued, "Well, Head of Wheeley Poppers would be a good start. It's a close race right now - polls are showing me right there with 11 year old, little Jimmy Donnelly, from 2 houses down. He's been popping wheeleys since age 4 so that makes him tough to beat. But I'm going to keep fighting."

Pantherrants was too worn out to continue further interviews for the day. More reports to come as the season progresses.


Anonymous said...

Seriously, who would vote for a guy with a dead cat on his head???

Anonymous said...

He is a nice guy. I probably still wouldn't vote for him though. I think his wife is a pretty powerful lady at Pitt too.

Anonymous said...

Dead cat remark must come from a bald guy.