Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Important announcement from Panther Rants

While still in utter shock that Serafino "Foge" Fazio is still alive, Panther Rants is pleased to announce that upon learning Foge was still breathing the site decided to move quickly to bring the former Pitt head coach on board as the blog's college football analyst.

Panther Rants introduced Fazio to the media during an early morning press conference on Wednesday at the Sheetz in Breezewood. Between shmuffin bites, Fazio said he was overwhelmed by the opportunity to again be involved with Pitt football.

"First of all, it's good that everyone knows I'm alive," Fazio said. "Secondly, being a part of Pitt football again is a dream come true. It's my own 'Major II' moment. Let's just hope there are more bowl games involved.
"I can't wait to get out to Johnstown for camp this summer and show you all on the field at Pitt Stadium what kind of quality product we have in store."

Fazio became despondent after learning he wasn't being hired as coach and that Pitt Stadium was only a memory. After finally gripping reality, Fazio sunk his teeth into another shmuffin and sat quietly until the end of the press event.

Panther Rants issued the following statement on the hiring of Fazio:

"We at Panther Rants are pleased to bring aboard Coach Fazio as our college football analyst. We expect he will be a valuable member of the staff during the fall and will be able to offer insights in to the recruitment of beefy manstuds. The man not only knows football, but no one better represents the tradition of Pitt football during the past 25 years - mediocrity. We are a half-assed blog with half-assed opinions on a half-assed athletic department. It only makes sense that we hire the most half-assed analyst in the business. Plus, he works for shmuffins which is about all we can afford."

Keep checking Panther Rants for Foge's insights and analysis.

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