Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Cart Kelly Seeking Transfer to Pitt

Princeton University defensive back Cart "Butt Sex" Kelly has re-opened the University of Pittsburgh. Cart initially sought a scholarship to Pitt during his high school football tenure at Baldwin High School in Pittsburgh, PA. Speaking after a stimulating, steamy spring practice, Kelly still believes that "Pitt is it for me. I've wanted to go there since Dave Wannstedt took the program over. He has the ability to recruit some fine studs for me to cover in practice and meet up with in the locker room." When asked to comment, Coach Wannstedt could only respond "At this time we cannot discuss potential recruits or new comers from other schools like Butt Sex Kelly...Crap, forget I said his name."

Kelly could be a potential replacement for the recently departed Darrelle Revis, as his ability to play tight, penetrating, man-to-man on receivers would be beneficial to the Pitt defensive secondary.

No comments: