Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Ranteria!


Cassin Diggs gets Belated Honor

Cassin Diggs was recently honored by the Pitt Basketball program by being the recipient of the John DeGroat Award. This honor is awarded every year for the team's most rarely used JUCO player. Diggs played only one season at Pitt where he appeared
in nine games and averaged 1.8 points before being told to move on. To be fair, Diggs was also injured for who knows how long.

The award was started in 2006 after DeGroat graduated in 2006. Degroat didn't see much time in his days as a Panther, but has prospered in the American Basketball Association playing for the Pittsburgh Xplosion. Last season, DeGroat averaged 18.2 points per game for the Pittsburgh franchise.

Recipients of the John DeGroat Award

2006 - John DeGroat
2007 - Doyle Hudson
2008 - Cassin Diggs

This year's player on the John Degroat watch: Jermaine Dixon

The Pick-Six Watch


The Panthers are five games into their season and still without a pick-six. They couldn't even manage one against Syracuse. Most odds-makers are waiting for the Rutgers game. Here's how the current contestants stand:

Aaron Berry - Berry has yet to register an interception this season. Navy likes to run the ball which means the odds are pretty stacked against him and his teammates.

Odds: 50-1

Jovanni Chappel - Jovanni is also without an interception. He didn't have a good game against Syracuse.

Odds: 100-1

Dom Decicco/Elijah Fields - Dom got on the board with an interception against South Florida last Thursday. Will he be able to take it to the house? He's splitting time with Elijah Fields who does have the ability to take it to the house. He's due sooner or later.

Odds: 150-1

Eric Thatcher - Even Eric is listed as to having an interception. He has no yards on the return. I'm not sure if he's capable of scoring a touchdown off one.

Odds: 200-1.

Pitt Students Hospitalized




There has been reports of Pitt students being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning over the last couple weeks of football season. The University has been investigating and they believe it is a result of the Bill Hilgrove Drinking Game. The students listen to Hilgrove and drink alcohol after something Bill does on the radio. Panther Rants found a sample of the drinking game and here are some of the rules:

1. When Bill gets the yardage wrong and has to keep correcting himself - 1 drink
2. When Bill screams "LOOSE FOOTBALL!" - 1 drink
3. If Bill says the "THE PANTHERS HAVE IT!" - 2 more drinks
4. When Bill gets the player's name wrong - 2 drinks
5. When Bill gets the quarter and time left wrong - 3 drinks

The problem with this game is Bill does these things a lot. Most students can't make it to the halftime before they are puking their guts out from cans of Natural Ice and Cheap "O" Pizza.

6 comments:

Sam Crowe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bill O. Me said...

Here are some other follow-up rules to the Hillgrove drinking game:

*Whenever Bill says "INTERCEPTED! NO, incomplete!" or "INTERCEPTED and dropped!": 2 drinks

*Whenever Bill mentions a quarterback having a "Side Car" in the backfield in the shotgun formation: either 1 or 2 beer shotguns, depending on how many side car(s) are with the QB

*Whenever Bill speaks of a "Banana Bunch" formation (usually trips or 4 receivers): 3 or 4 drinks, depending on how many "bananas" are in the "bunch"

*Whenever Bill says "He's on his way!" when a player breaks a huge run: drink until the player is either tackled or reaches the endzone.

Anonymous said...

Another rule you can't forget:

"During a field goal or PAT, if Hillgrove takes more than 8 seconds to call a 3 second play, saying, "The snap is down. The hold is good. The kick is up. It's long enough. It's straight enough. The kick is [pause] good." : 3 drinks."

"If the other team is already onfield awaiting kickoff before Hillgrove has finished telling us if the conversion was good: 5 drinks."

DarkHelmet said...

GREAT CALL with "banana bunch" and "sidecar"- that will get a guy hammered pretty quick.

Anonymous said...

Hey ... its Mr. Ken Sinagra!!

Unknown said...

No one buys pizza from the O. Antoon's or Sorrento's.