Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Monday, October 13, 2008

SLAP 10!

This past week in college football, we had a wealth of slaps emerge. Let's see who made the honor roll.....

10. Auburn

So who are guys going to fire next? That win streak against Bama is in danger.

9. Rutgers

Cincinnati owns you...plain and simple. They're down to their fifth string quarterback and they still beat you. Enjoy Big East Conference Morgan States on the schedule.

8. Clemson

I think this needs no further explanation. At least you're in the Top Ten in something.....

7. Georgia Tech

Great win over Gardner-Webb. Gardner-Webb sounds like it's a lawfirm instead of a University. As usual, ESPN will keep saying what a great conference the ACC is. 10-7 win....hmmmm.

6. Vanderbilt

You guys may have given Sylvester Croom some job security.

5. Missouri

Bad weekend for Big 12 teams ranked in the Top 5. In the words of Mike Gundy:

Chance at a BCS game or Title Game: "THAT AIN'T TRUE!"
Chance at Big 12 Championship: "THAT AIN'T TRUE!"
Why you're so hyped: "BECAUSE IT'S GARBAGE!"

4. Oklahoma

The punter faking that dive and then the injury turned out to be bad karma for you guys. Texas rolled on you and the rest was history. You guys got beat by a QB named "Colt". I mean this kid is something out of a "Raising Arizona" movie.

3. Big East Officials

Great job doing the North Carolina-Notre Dame game. Now us Pitt fans know what to expect when we come to South Bend. Don't worry, we don't forget the WVU game last year. We're used to being screwed over by you guys. I swear the referee was on the verge of tears when he had to announce that it was a fumble and the ball belonged to UNC. Again, you tried hard to screw the other team. It didn't work. Try something else.

2. Ricky Jean-Francois

So you make this comment about hitting Tim Tebow like a car wreck without a seatbelt. You know they have airbags in cars these days. I guess that's why Tebow dominated your pals while you sat at home with a sore vagina. Way to back up the smack talk.

1. Michigan

It just keeps getting more funnier for Rich Rodriguez. First loss to a MAC team. It couldn't have happened to a better coach and a program. The Nittany Lions are waiting for you at State College. If you think losing to Toledo was bad, you're about to be crushed this next game. As for WVU, they're not doing any better.

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