Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Big East Stock Market


Let's take a look at this week's stock market to see what are good stocks to buy/sell...or ones to stay away from.........

1. Pittsburgh

Their stock is getting higher and higher every week. They're 5-1 after sinking the Midshipmen and they are heading home to play Rutgers this Saturday. We all remember 2006 pretty well. Pitt was 6-1 and hosting Rutgers. After cutting the lead to 13-10, Ray Rice was "still running". Ray Rice is gone and so is the rest of that 2006 team.

The only worry is that Rutgers will most likely will stack the line where Pitt may rely on Bill Stull to move the ball. Stull has played well enough the last two games to avoid any abuse from this blog so we'll leave him alone.

Advice: If you have stock, keep it. It may keep going up if Pitt wins. If you're fearful of a 2006 repeat, sell it.

2. South Florida

South Florida is coming off a crushing win against Syracuse and they head to Louisville this Saturday. Their stock took a big hit against Pitt, but was a benefactor of a recent bailout against Syracuse. Stockholders can now feel good about themselves driving their expensive cars and filling up with the highest grade of gas.

Advice: Buy it. If you already have it, keep it.

3. West Virginia

The Hoopies play the Auburn Tigers this week. Both of these teams have one thing in common: They get no respect. The only difference is the Auburn fanbase has a lot more self-respect. Paul Rhodes is their defensive coordinator so we could see some more boos from the Mountaineer fans if they can't move the ball. Not to mention, Pat White is pretty fragile as of late.

Advice: Sell

4. Connecticut

Last week was every UConn stockholder's nightmare. A loss to Rutgers caused their stock to plummet big time. Their kicker got the Pat Mcafee syndrome and went on this miss three field goals. They're at home against Cincinnati who is still awaiting word on Ben Mauk's eligibility.

Advice: Their price has gone down. You can buy it for a bargain. If they win this Saturday, good for you. If not, trade it in for a value meal at Wendy's.

5. Cincinnati

They come off a win against Rutgers and head to Connecticut. They have their issues at quarterback. They head to Storrs where they'll hear a loud fanbase and "Welcome to the Jungle" blasting while they are in the huddle or about to snap the ball. They currently have more wins than the Bengals.

Advice: Sell it.

6. Louisville

They had another shootout with Middle Tennessee State and they get to host South Florida. Louisville's defense has more holes than Bonny and Clyde after a police chase. Their offense improves each week, but it could be the defense that holds them back.

Advice: Sell

7. Rutgers

If you were crazy enough to hold on to their stock, then you must have forgotten to take your meds. They play Pitt this Saturday and have won their last three meetings against them. Things haven't been good for Rutgers this season. They're off to a bad start and their stadium expansion plans are being revised.

Advice: Sell. It may buy you some club seats if the stadium ever expands.

8. Syracuse

The have a bye week. That's only good thing we can say about them right now.

Advice: Liquidation Sale on "The Express" DVD's are coming to a video store near you.

1 comment:

He who once took you to bowl games said...

What does Momma Rice say?