SLAP 10!

This past week in college football, we had a wealth of slaps emerge. Let's see who made the honor roll.....

10. Auburn

So who are guys going to fire next? That win streak against Bama is in danger.

9. Rutgers

Cincinnati owns you...plain and simple. They're down to their fifth string quarterback and they still beat you. Enjoy Big East Conference play....no Morgan States on the schedule.

8. Clemson

I think this needs no further explanation. At least you're in the Top Ten in something.....

7. Georgia Tech

Great win over Gardner-Webb. Gardner-Webb sounds like it's a lawfirm instead of a University. As usual, ESPN will keep saying what a great conference the ACC is. 10-7 win....hmmmm.

6. Vanderbilt

You guys may have given Sylvester Croom some job security.

5. Missouri

Bad weekend for Big 12 teams ranked in the Top 5. In the words of Mike Gundy:

Chance at a BCS game or Title Game: "THAT AIN'T TRUE!"
Chance at Big 12 Championship: "THAT AIN'T TRUE!"

Why you're so hyped: "BECAUSE IT'S GARBAGE!"

4. Oklahoma

The punter faking that dive and then the injury turned out to be bad karma for you guys. Texas rolled on you and the rest was history. You guys got beat by a QB named "Colt". I mean this kid is something out of a "Raising Arizona" movie.

3. Big East Officials

Great job doing the North Carolina-Notre Dame game. Now us Pitt fans know what to expect when we come to South Bend. Don't worry, we don't forget the WVU game last year. We're used to being screwed over by you guys. I swear the referee was on the verge of tears when he had to announce that it was a fumble and the ball belonged to UNC. Again, you tried hard to screw the other team. It didn't work. Try something else.

2. Ricky Jean-Francois

So you make this comment about hitting Tim Tebow like a car wreck without a seatbelt. You know they have airbags in cars these days. I guess that's why Tebow dominated your pals while you sat at home with a sore vagina. Way to back up the smack talk.

1. Michigan

It just keeps getting more funnier for Rich Rodriguez. First loss to a MAC team. It couldn't have happened to a better coach and a program. The Nittany Lions are waiting for you at State College. If you think losing to Toledo was bad, you're about to be crushed this next game. As for WVU, they're not doing any better.

BEST DAMN WLAT SHOW....PERIOD.....

Kevan Barlow: Welcome to the "Best Damn WLAT Show". Coach Harris is out this week so I'll be filling his spot because Paul Rhodes hasn't been fired yet. Rod Rutherford is here with me doing the co-hosting.

Rod Rutherford: Thanks for having me back, Kevan. I was surprised to be invited back after our debacle at Filthy McNasty's which I take responsibility for.

Kevan: What the hell do you mean? Wait a minute...you didn't run into any old classmates down there again? I don't remember much from that weekend. Where's Tyler at?

Rod: Walt benched him for this week's show. For the record, I didn't run into any old classmates.

Kevan: Whoa..whoa....Tyler got benched?

Rod: Yep.

Kevan: For what?

Rod: Well he joined us as the bar to watch the game and started making fun of Bill Stull. Then Bill made some big plays and Pitt won the game. During the game, you fed him Jager Bombs. He was so amped after the game, you started ribbing him about Stull beating a better opponent than Tyler ever did.

Kevan: Ok...so...what happened....he get into a fight?

Rod: Worse.....He left the bar and came back dressed in his 2004 Pitt Uniform..helmet and all. He ran around the bar stiff-arming people, throwing darts like he was re-enacting a past football game, and he DDT'd a frat boy.

Kevan: Wow....wait a minute......I just received a text message from Walt. It reads:

Kevan,

I heard a rumor that you might have a certain guest on the show that I may not approve of. If you do this, you will be hanging out with Tyler in the dog house. Bertie Higgins is about to take the stage. I will see you when I get back.

Rod: Well, there goes that idea. We have no guest for the show. I can call up Rasheed Marshall. I know he ain't doing a damn thing.

Kevan: Sheed's a hoopie. That ain't gonna work here. Rosie Bynes just emailed me the other day about coming on the show.....He's learned to walk again since that nasty punt return he took at Miami in 2002.

Rod: That wasn't a punt return......

Kevan: Oh yea...then again...Shelly Anderson expressed inter.....

Rod: Oh hell no! You realize I had a restraining order against her?!? The chick was on my sack big time. I used to receive love letters....and other...types of photos.

Kevan: Photos...like...dirty ones?

Rod: Yeah, that's why I took so many timeouts. I couldn't get those images out of my head in 2003 when taking the snap.

Kevan: Yeah...I'll come out of the closet..and admit...I was one of her favorites too. It ruined my career.

Rod: It made you fumble?

Kevan: Yeah......Those images would pop in my head...and I would just drop the football.

Rod: She liked Walt too. I'm surprised Walt was never affected by her.

Kevan: It's Coach Harris we're talking about. He had some pretty low standards. I mean he picks up ladies at Denny's for Wlat's sake!

Rod: So what about our guest?

Kevan: Well since we can't have him on the show....I have our guest on speaker phone. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Pat Hoderny.

Hoderny: Hey guys, long time no see! I love the show. I watch it when I get a chance.

Rod: Oh man, Walt's gonna kill both of us when he gets back.

Kevan: Calm down, Pat is not our guest. I just dialed his number by accident.

Rod: Good to have you on the show, Pat. How about this fall weather?

Pat: Oh it's a drag man. It's gonna be winter real soon, but it's football season and Pitt's 4-1.

Kevan: I guess we can say you love Summer the best of all seasons?

Pat: Summer? Oh I f***in love Summer! Man she was......

Rod: Yeah and I think we just ran out of time. It was nice having you, Pat. Hey Kevan, hang up the phone man.

Kevan: Sorry, I just couldn't resist asking that question.

Rod: Let's just hope Walt doesn't find out....


( To be continued......)

Ranteria!

Cassin Diggs gets Belated Honor

Cassin Diggs was recently honored by the Pitt Basketball program by being the recipient of the John DeGroat Award. This honor is awarded every year for the team's most rarely used JUCO player. Diggs played only one season at Pitt where he appeared
in nine games and averaged 1.8 points before being told to move on. To be fair, Diggs was also injured for who knows how long.

The award was started in 2006 after DeGroat graduated in 2006. Degroat didn't see much time in his days as a Panther, but has prospered in the American Basketball Association playing for the Pittsburgh Xplosion. Last season, DeGroat averaged 18.2 points per game for the Pittsburgh franchise.

Recipients of the John DeGroat Award

2006 - John DeGroat
2007 - Doyle Hudson
2008 - Cassin Diggs

This year's player on the John Degroat watch: Jermaine Dixon

The Pick-Six Watch


The Panthers are five games into their season and still without a pick-six. They couldn't even manage one against Syracuse. Most odds-makers are waiting for the Rutgers game. Here's how the current contestants stand:

Aaron Berry - Berry has yet to register an interception this season. Navy likes to run the ball which means the odds are pretty stacked against him and his teammates.

Odds: 50-1

Jovanni Chappel - Jovanni is also without an interception. He didn't have a good game against Syracuse.

Odds: 100-1

Dom Decicco/Elijah Fields - Dom got on the board with an interception against South Florida last Thursday. Will he be able to take it to the house? He's splitting time with Elijah Fields who does have the ability to take it to the house. He's due sooner or later.

Odds: 150-1

Eric Thatcher - Even Eric is listed as to having an interception. He has no yards on the return. I'm not sure if he's capable of scoring a touchdown off one.

Odds: 200-1.

Pitt Students Hospitalized




There has been reports of Pitt students being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning over the last couple weeks of football season. The University has been investigating and they believe it is a result of the Bill Hilgrove Drinking Game. The students listen to Hilgrove and drink alcohol after something Bill does on the radio. Panther Rants found a sample of the drinking game and here are some of the rules:

1. When Bill gets the yardage wrong and has to keep correcting himself - 1 drink
2. When Bill screams "LOOSE FOOTBALL!" - 1 drink
3. If Bill says the "THE PANTHERS HAVE IT!" - 2 more drinks
4. When Bill gets the player's name wrong - 2 drinks
5. When Bill gets the quarter and time left wrong - 3 drinks

The problem with this game is Bill does these things a lot. Most students can't make it to the halftime before they are puking their guts out from cans of Natural Ice and Cheap "O" Pizza.

Specter Investigates Wisky-OSU Outcome

It seems Arlen Specter can't stay out of the sports headlines. After all, he's a politician and not a jock. Arlen had been active in fighting the war on Spygate. Spygate as we all know, was when the Patriots were filming practices of their opponents and their locker room showers as well. Now the Pennsylvania Senator is sending his troops into the game of College Football.

Specter is investigating two games in which the Wisconsin Badgers folded in the second half against Michigan and their meltdown against Ohio State in the final minutes. Specter feels these games were fixed just so Ohio State could remain in the BCS title hunt and to prevent the Michigan-OSU game from being broadcasted on the CW network. Earlier today, the Senator released this statement:

"We are in the process of investigating the possible fixing of college football games. The United States government has been active in the investigation steroids in baseball, and NFL teams spying on each other. Although there are bigger worries like the economy, oil prices, and election; We feel those are non-issues and we have nothing else better to do at this time. We're curious to know how one team can blow a nineteen point lead one week and then let a true freshman pick your defense apart in the final minutes."

This investigation also is a result of a rumor Big Ten Commissioner Jim Delaney called the Wisconsin coaches box showing his displeasure after P.J. Hill scored to give the Badger the lead late in the game. Here is the text of the conversation:

Delaney: What the hell was that?

Wisconsin Defensive Coordinator, Dave Doeren: Uhhh....we scored a touchdown?

Delaney: You guys weren't supposed to score!

Doeren: Well he tried to fall down at the one yard line, he just fell a little to forward.

Delaney: We had this conversation last week. You're supposed to lose! The Michigan-Ohio State game is not too far away! We need Michigan to win so ESPN can over-advertise the hell out of it! Ohio State was supposed to be in the BCS title game this year!

Doeren: Penn State is still undefeated. They're looking good. Why not give them a chance?

Delaney: WHAT?!?! PENN STATE?!? ARE YOU KIDDING?!?!? This is about Michigan-Ohio State. Not them!

Doeren: They may beat Michigan and Ohio State.

Delaney: Oh no.....I got bigger plans for Penn State in those games. I will make sure they're handled.

Doeren: What can we do? Pryor hasn't done much against us tonight.

Delaney: Look, just play your defense back and let Pryor move the ball. If your defense looks lost, don't you dare let them call a timeout! You hear me?!?

Doeren: Yes sir.

Big Ten Officials have declined comment on the investigation.

SLAP 10!

Panther Rants takes a look at this past weekend to see who made the list of slaps. Below are the recipients on the honor roll.

10. Andrew Johnson

Oh...we remember the day you wore the pink suit and pledged to Pitt. Then you decided to head to Miami some few months later. You talked about bringing some recruits to Pitt. Instead, you went with them. Then you analyzed game film for the Duke-Miami game every season...which would be the only way you'd see playing time. Now you're a backup at Akron. Still no regrets? C'mon.....

9. Noel Devine

Yeah, we remembered the high school films. Too bad you're still not in high school.....

8. Chase Daniel

So, you beat Nebraska. You didn't just beat them, you routed. Instead of celebrating, you decide to act like a whiny little bitch. Okay you got spit on and picked on by the Nebraska players. Dude, it's football not a tea party.

7. Rutgers

Keep Choppin' wood. You may just beat a Division 1A opponent.

6. Kentucky

Games like this past Saturday are a reminder as to why you're 2-34 all time versus 'Bama. At least we don't have to hear all the BCS talk like we did last year.

5. Wisconsin

Another game, another blown lead. So what was the strategy? Sit back and let a true freshman QB pick you apart? Because of you, OSU will be back in the BCS title picture again.

4. South Florida

Same blown Top Ten ranking, same blown opportunity. At least we couldn't be entertained by the story of Moffitt and his ugly wife again. Instead, we got entertained by your defense being smoked by Bill Stull, LeSean McCoy, and friends.

3. Iowa

I guess Ferentz decided to take Wanny's approach and be aggressive. You guys went for it on fourth-and-one only to turned down. Not to mention, you were in field goal range and a chance to take it to OT.

2. Oregon State

After a big win against USC, you make the list by blowing an eight point lead with under two minutes left. The Utah lovefest just keeps getting better. We could sit "Pitt-Utah: Part Two" in January.

1. Iowa State

You are number one on the list for this past weekend. You blew a twenty point lead. Good Job.

Best Damn WLAT Show...Period.....

Walt: Well we're back after a week hiatus. Not to mention we're in Tampa! There was a lot of issues since the last show. Because of that, we decided to make some lineup changes.

Kevan Barlow: Tyre Young has no affiliation with this show for a while. With that web site scandal and his behavior on last show, we decided to go in a different direction for a while. Tyler Palko has been benched from the show. Probably the first time he's been benched since.....

Rod Rutherford: Since, I beat his ass out for the starting job during the Texas A&M game. Wait a minute, he's here! Did he sneak on the tour bus?

Walt: Well I told Tyler, we didn't need him. He didn't have much else to do so I decided to let him travel with us. It's kind of similar to when you couldn't beat out Brian St. Pierre for the third string job. The Steelers felt bad, so they let you come to the Super Bowl.

Tyler: Don't throw stones in glass houses, Rod..or in your case....objects at women's car windows.

Rod: Well there's a lot to that story than that.

Tyler: Sure, Larry Fitzgerald wasn't there to make the catch. Unlike you, I was never in danger in losing my job. Hell I made Luke Getsy and Joe Flacco transfer.

Rod: Yeah, but Joe Flacco has something that you don't.

Tyler: What's that?

Rod: A seven figure salary.....

Tyler: F*** You.......

Kevan: Now guys, settle down.

Tyler: I'm not going to take this crap from a city league quarterback. My stay in the pros lasted the same as yours. How's the Erie River Rats?

Rod: They're looking for a quarterback since I decided not to play. I hear they would have called you, but they called Matt Flaus instead.

Walt: Ouch...come on guys. Tyler is it true you had a tryout with Cal U? Are you going to coach like Rod does?

Tyler: Well I've petitioned for another year of eligibility. I mean If Joe Slappy can play college football for 7 years, why can't I?

Rod: Joe Slappy still plays? Didn't you go to high school with him?

Tyler: Yes. Hell they're thinking of letting Marcel Pestano play another year.

Walt: How did your tryout go, Tyler?

Tyler: It didn't last long. Tyre Young showed up to try out as well and threatened to shoot me.

Walt: Well I was hoping to see more of my players from Pitt play. I mean, I did see Joe Flacco play at Heinz.

Kevan: Antonio Bryant plays here in Tampa. Why not go see him play?

Walt: I want no part of that. Putting up with him for three years was enough. He still wants an apology for R.J. English. Where did Rod go?

Rod: Sorry about that, was taking a timeout.

Walt: You took a lot of those in 2003.

Rod: Thanks to you. Julius Jones just ran by, he's wondering when you'll stop him.

Walt: Well if St. Vincent's doesn't work out, I imagine there's Cal U.

Kevan: Speaking of that, I gotta go.

Walt: Where the hell are you going? The show isn't over!

Kevan: I'm heading to Cal U to see if they need a running back.

Rod: Me too, they'll take anyone except for Tyler.

Tyler: I'll just take Kevan's job as co-host.

Walt: No you won't. Besides, Kevan's done a good job here. Speaking of that, I thought Rod and Kevan were heading back to Cal U. Are they heading into a bar.

Tyler: Yeah, they saw a Filthy McNasty's and just couldn't resist.

Walt: Well that's it for the Best Damn WLAT Show. Sometimes in your college career, the show is never over to you. When it finally is, you'll end up here talking to me. Hey there's a Denny's down the street. Time for a Grand Slam! The show is never over there. It's open 24 hours!

Half Assed Pitt-USF Preview

Pitt will head to Tampa to face the South Florida Bulls on Thursday night. Panther Rants gives you a half assed preview of what to look out for when you turn on the television. You made some Jim Beam or some Valium. Hell, you might need both.


Pitt

Pitt is coming off a big win over a traditional Big East power in Syracuse. The Panthers fell early, but got back up and ran their way to victory. Pitt is 3-1 on the year. Their key win is against Iowa.

They have lost their last two games against South Florida and you can thank Matt Grothe for that. Grothe has had the Pitt defense's number the last two games. South Florida's defense has had their way with us in terms of everything ranging from sacks to turnovers.

Pitt's offense will be led by LeSean McCoy and Larod Stephens. Both backs had big games against Syracuse and are hoping to fill the void in case their offense "Stulls". Derek Kinder has re-emerged from the wideout spot. Pitt's offensive line has some issues as usual.

Pitt's defense had an off game at Syracuse. The secondary didn't have a great game and will need to step up if the front seven can't catch Grothe.

South Florida

They're 5-0 and in the Top Ten. They had some scares against UCF and Florida International. Both of those schools are in state rivals. They had big wins against Kansas and NC State.

Matt Grothe has been a one man gang. He has a passer efficiency of 150.2 and he leads the team in rushing yards. Their backfield has a group that pitches in. Moise Plancher, Jamar Taylor, and Mike Ford have combined for eleven rushing touchdowns. At receiver, Jessie Hester is their lead man. They have several other receivers who are averaging over 10 yards per catch.

On defense, there's not much to say. They force turnovers, pressure the quarterback, etc. They're also hard to run the ball against.


Key Matchups
Pitt's Backfield vs. USF's front seven - This will be an entirely different matchup than what LeSean Mcoy/Larod Stephens faced at Syracuse. USF's defense has yet to allow their opponents to rush over 100 yards. They have only allowed three rushing touchdowns this year as well. McCoy didn't have a good rushing game against USF last. Pitt will need to establish the run or they'll have to rely on Bill Stull. Yeah...we're screwed......


Pitt Passing Game vs. USF Secondary - USF's secondary is full of ball grabbers. No, we're not talking about Richard Simmons. We're talking about their ability to intercept passes. They've intercepted 29 passes in the last 18 games. Pitt had three passes picked off last year and two got returned for touchdowns. In other words, they do things that our defense can't. This may not be a good idea for Bill Stull to force anything.

Pitt will need it's wide receivers to step up as well. Maybe now it's time to get the ball to Dorin Dickerson some more. Derek Kinder may need to really to bring it. In other words, they'll need to do something on offense or it will be a long game.


Pitt Defense vs. USF Offense - USF is big on the offensive line. Pitt's defense will need to attack Grothe in any way possible. They will need to create havoc and stay in his face. If Grothe can't pass, he'll run. Which means the linebackers will need to tackle well. Shane Murray is back, which helps, but is he ready? I don't think I can stomach another game with Austin Ransom at linebacker. Greg Williams will need to step up and Scott Mckillop needs a big game.

Overall: Pitt has a very tall order this Thursday. On paper, they're overmatched on both sides of the ball. The offensive line will need to open some holes for the running game and not the opposing team. They'll need to give Stull time or it may lead to very bad decisions.