Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Ranteria!


Cassin Diggs gets Belated Honor

Cassin Diggs was recently honored by the Pitt Basketball program by being the recipient of the John DeGroat Award. This honor is awarded every year for the team's most rarely used JUCO player. Diggs played only one season at Pitt where he appeared
in nine games and averaged 1.8 points before being told to move on. To be fair, Diggs was also injured for who knows how long.

The award was started in 2006 after DeGroat graduated in 2006. Degroat didn't see much time in his days as a Panther, but has prospered in the American Basketball Association playing for the Pittsburgh Xplosion. Last season, DeGroat averaged 18.2 points per game for the Pittsburgh franchise.

Recipients of the John DeGroat Award

2006 - John DeGroat
2007 - Doyle Hudson
2008 - Cassin Diggs

This year's player on the John Degroat watch: Jermaine Dixon

The Pick-Six Watch


The Panthers are five games into their season and still without a pick-six. They couldn't even manage one against Syracuse. Most odds-makers are waiting for the Rutgers game. Here's how the current contestants stand:

Aaron Berry - Berry has yet to register an interception this season. Navy likes to run the ball which means the odds are pretty stacked against him and his teammates.

Odds: 50-1

Jovanni Chappel - Jovanni is also without an interception. He didn't have a good game against Syracuse.

Odds: 100-1

Dom Decicco/Elijah Fields - Dom got on the board with an interception against South Florida last Thursday. Will he be able to take it to the house? He's splitting time with Elijah Fields who does have the ability to take it to the house. He's due sooner or later.

Odds: 150-1

Eric Thatcher - Even Eric is listed as to having an interception. He has no yards on the return. I'm not sure if he's capable of scoring a touchdown off one.

Odds: 200-1.

Pitt Students Hospitalized




There has been reports of Pitt students being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning over the last couple weeks of football season. The University has been investigating and they believe it is a result of the Bill Hilgrove Drinking Game. The students listen to Hilgrove and drink alcohol after something Bill does on the radio. Panther Rants found a sample of the drinking game and here are some of the rules:

1. When Bill gets the yardage wrong and has to keep correcting himself - 1 drink
2. When Bill screams "LOOSE FOOTBALL!" - 1 drink
3. If Bill says the "THE PANTHERS HAVE IT!" - 2 more drinks
4. When Bill gets the player's name wrong - 2 drinks
5. When Bill gets the quarter and time left wrong - 3 drinks

The problem with this game is Bill does these things a lot. Most students can't make it to the halftime before they are puking their guts out from cans of Natural Ice and Cheap "O" Pizza.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Specter Investigates Wisky-OSU Outcome


It seems Arlen Specter can't stay out of the sports headlines. After all, he's a politician and not a jock. Arlen had been active in fighting the war on Spygate. Spygate as we all know, was when the Patriots were filming practices of their opponents and their locker room showers as well. Now the Pennsylvania Senator is sending his troops into the game of College Football.

Specter is investigating two games in which the Wisconsin Badgers folded in the second half against Michigan and their meltdown against Ohio State in the final minutes. Specter feels these games were fixed just so Ohio State could remain in the BCS title hunt and to prevent the Michigan-OSU game from being broadcasted on the CW network. Earlier today, the Senator released this statement:

"We are in the process of investigating the possible fixing of college football games. The United States government has been active in the investigation steroids in baseball, and NFL teams spying on each other. Although there are bigger worries like the economy, oil prices, and election; We feel those are non-issues and we have nothing else better to do at this time. We're curious to know how one team can blow a nineteen point lead one week and then let a true freshman pick your defense apart in the final minutes."

This investigation also is a result of a rumor Big Ten Commissioner Jim Delaney called the Wisconsin coaches box showing his displeasure after P.J. Hill scored to give the Badger the lead late in the game. Here is the text of the conversation:

Delaney: What the hell was that?

Wisconsin Defensive Coordinator, Dave Doeren: Uhhh....we scored a touchdown?

Delaney: You guys weren't supposed to score!

Doeren: Well he tried to fall down at the one yard line, he just fell a little to forward.

Delaney: We had this conversation last week. You're supposed to lose! The Michigan-Ohio State game is not too far away! We need Michigan to win so ESPN can over-advertise the hell out of it! Ohio State was supposed to be in the BCS title game this year!

Doeren: Penn State is still undefeated. They're looking good. Why not give them a chance?

Delaney: WHAT?!?! PENN STATE?!? ARE YOU KIDDING?!?!? This is about Michigan-Ohio State. Not them!

Doeren: They may beat Michigan and Ohio State.

Delaney: Oh no.....I got bigger plans for Penn State in those games. I will make sure they're handled.

Doeren: What can we do? Pryor hasn't done much against us tonight.

Delaney: Look, just play your defense back and let Pryor move the ball. If your defense looks lost, don't you dare let them call a timeout! You hear me?!?

Doeren: Yes sir.

Big Ten Officials have declined comment on the investigation.

Monday, October 6, 2008

SLAP 10!


Panther Rants takes a look at this past weekend to see who made the list of slaps. Below are the recipients on the honor roll.

10. Andrew Johnson

Oh...we remember the day you wore the pink suit and pledged to Pitt. Then you decided to head to Miami some few months later. You talked about bringing some recruits to Pitt. Instead, you went with them. Then you analyzed game film for the Duke-Miami game every season...which would be the only way you'd see playing time. Now you're a backup at Akron. Still no regrets? C'mon.....

9. Noel Devine

Yeah, we remembered the high school films. Too bad you're still not in high school.....

8. Chase Daniel

So, you beat Nebraska. You didn't just beat them, you routed. Instead of celebrating, you decide to act like a whiny little bitch. Okay you got spit on and picked on by the Nebraska players. Dude, it's football not a tea party.

7. Rutgers

Keep Choppin' wood. You may just beat a Division 1A opponent.

6. Kentucky

Games like this past Saturday are a reminder as to why you're 2-34 all time versus 'Bama. At least we don't have to hear all the BCS talk like we did last year.

5. Wisconsin

Another game, another blown lead. So what was the strategy? Sit back and let a true freshman QB pick you apart? Because of you, OSU will be back in the BCS title picture again.

4. South Florida

Same blown Top Ten ranking, same blown opportunity. At least we couldn't be entertained by the story of Moffitt and his ugly wife again. Instead, we got entertained by your defense being smoked by Bill Stull, LeSean McCoy, and friends.

3. Iowa

I guess Ferentz decided to take Wanny's approach and be aggressive. You guys went for it on fourth-and-one only to turned down. Not to mention, you were in field goal range and a chance to take it to OT.

2. Oregon State

After a big win against USC, you make the list by blowing an eight point lead with under two minutes left. The Utah lovefest just keeps getting better. We could sit "Pitt-Utah: Part Two" in January.

1. Iowa State

You are number one on the list for this past weekend. You blew a twenty point lead. Good Job.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Best Damn WLAT Show...Period.....


Walt: Well we're back after a week hiatus. Not to mention we're in Tampa! There was a lot of issues since the last show. Because of that, we decided to make some lineup changes.

Kevan Barlow: Tyre Young has no affiliation with this show for a while. With that web site scandal and his behavior on last show, we decided to go in a different direction for a while. Tyler Palko has been benched from the show. Probably the first time he's been benched since.....

Rod Rutherford: Since, I beat his ass out for the starting job during the Texas A&M game. Wait a minute, he's here! Did he sneak on the tour bus?

Walt: Well I told Tyler, we didn't need him. He didn't have much else to do so I decided to let him travel with us. It's kind of similar to when you couldn't beat out Brian St. Pierre for the third string job. The Steelers felt bad, so they let you come to the Super Bowl.

Tyler: Don't throw stones in glass houses, Rod..or in your case....objects at women's car windows.

Rod: Well there's a lot to that story than that.

Tyler: Sure, Larry Fitzgerald wasn't there to make the catch. Unlike you, I was never in danger in losing my job. Hell I made Luke Getsy and Joe Flacco transfer.

Rod: Yeah, but Joe Flacco has something that you don't.

Tyler: What's that?

Rod: A seven figure salary.....

Tyler: F*** You.......

Kevan: Now guys, settle down.

Tyler: I'm not going to take this crap from a city league quarterback. My stay in the pros lasted the same as yours. How's the Erie River Rats?

Rod: They're looking for a quarterback since I decided not to play. I hear they would have called you, but they called Matt Flaus instead.

Walt: Ouch...come on guys. Tyler is it true you had a tryout with Cal U? Are you going to coach like Rod does?

Tyler: Well I've petitioned for another year of eligibility. I mean If Joe Slappy can play college football for 7 years, why can't I?

Rod: Joe Slappy still plays? Didn't you go to high school with him?

Tyler: Yes. Hell they're thinking of letting Marcel Pestano play another year.

Walt: How did your tryout go, Tyler?

Tyler: It didn't last long. Tyre Young showed up to try out as well and threatened to shoot me.

Walt: Well I was hoping to see more of my players from Pitt play. I mean, I did see Joe Flacco play at Heinz.

Kevan: Antonio Bryant plays here in Tampa. Why not go see him play?

Walt: I want no part of that. Putting up with him for three years was enough. He still wants an apology for R.J. English. Where did Rod go?

Rod: Sorry about that, was taking a timeout.

Walt: You took a lot of those in 2003.

Rod: Thanks to you. Julius Jones just ran by, he's wondering when you'll stop him.

Walt: Well if St. Vincent's doesn't work out, I imagine there's Cal U.

Kevan: Speaking of that, I gotta go.

Walt: Where the hell are you going? The show isn't over!

Kevan: I'm heading to Cal U to see if they need a running back.

Rod: Me too, they'll take anyone except for Tyler.

Tyler: I'll just take Kevan's job as co-host.

Walt: No you won't. Besides, Kevan's done a good job here. Speaking of that, I thought Rod and Kevan were heading back to Cal U. Are they heading into a bar.

Tyler: Yeah, they saw a Filthy McNasty's and just couldn't resist.

Walt: Well that's it for the Best Damn WLAT Show. Sometimes in your college career, the show is never over to you. When it finally is, you'll end up here talking to me. Hey there's a Denny's down the street. Time for a Grand Slam! The show is never over there. It's open 24 hours!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Half Assed Pitt-USF Preview


Pitt will head to Tampa to face the South Florida Bulls on Thursday night. Panther Rants gives you a half assed preview of what to look out for when you turn on the television. You made some Jim Beam or some Valium. Hell, you might need both.


Pitt

Pitt is coming off a big win over a traditional Big East power in Syracuse. The Panthers fell early, but got back up and ran their way to victory. Pitt is 3-1 on the year. Their key win is against Iowa.

They have lost their last two games against South Florida and you can thank Matt Grothe for that. Grothe has had the Pitt defense's number the last two games. South Florida's defense has had their way with us in terms of everything ranging from sacks to turnovers.

Pitt's offense will be led by LeSean McCoy and Larod Stephens. Both backs had big games against Syracuse and are hoping to fill the void in case their offense "Stulls". Derek Kinder has re-emerged from the wideout spot. Pitt's offensive line has some issues as usual.

Pitt's defense had an off game at Syracuse. The secondary didn't have a great game and will need to step up if the front seven can't catch Grothe.

South Florida

They're 5-0 and in the Top Ten. They had some scares against UCF and Florida International. Both of those schools are in state rivals. They had big wins against Kansas and NC State.

Matt Grothe has been a one man gang. He has a passer efficiency of 150.2 and he leads the team in rushing yards. Their backfield has a group that pitches in. Moise Plancher, Jamar Taylor, and Mike Ford have combined for eleven rushing touchdowns. At receiver, Jessie Hester is their lead man. They have several other receivers who are averaging over 10 yards per catch.

On defense, there's not much to say. They force turnovers, pressure the quarterback, etc. They're also hard to run the ball against.


Key Matchups
Pitt's Backfield vs. USF's front seven - This will be an entirely different matchup than what LeSean Mcoy/Larod Stephens faced at Syracuse. USF's defense has yet to allow their opponents to rush over 100 yards. They have only allowed three rushing touchdowns this year as well. McCoy didn't have a good rushing game against USF last. Pitt will need to establish the run or they'll have to rely on Bill Stull. Yeah...we're screwed......


Pitt Passing Game vs. USF Secondary - USF's secondary is full of ball grabbers. No, we're not talking about Richard Simmons. We're talking about their ability to intercept passes. They've intercepted 29 passes in the last 18 games. Pitt had three passes picked off last year and two got returned for touchdowns. In other words, they do things that our defense can't. This may not be a good idea for Bill Stull to force anything.

Pitt will need it's wide receivers to step up as well. Maybe now it's time to get the ball to Dorin Dickerson some more. Derek Kinder may need to really to bring it. In other words, they'll need to do something on offense or it will be a long game.


Pitt Defense vs. USF Offense - USF is big on the offensive line. Pitt's defense will need to attack Grothe in any way possible. They will need to create havoc and stay in his face. If Grothe can't pass, he'll run. Which means the linebackers will need to tackle well. Shane Murray is back, which helps, but is he ready? I don't think I can stomach another game with Austin Ransom at linebacker. Greg Williams will need to step up and Scott Mckillop needs a big game.

Overall: Pitt has a very tall order this Thursday. On paper, they're overmatched on both sides of the ball. The offensive line will need to open some holes for the running game and not the opposing team. They'll need to give Stull time or it may lead to very bad decisions.

Monday, September 29, 2008

SLAP 10!

10. Virginia

I know Coach K usually has good Duke teams. They're usually pretty hard to beat with all those good recruits he gets. You know those Bobby Hurley types that like to throw up bricks. Wait a minute...you got hammered by Duke in football?

9. Central Florida

About that potential Big East invite: Don't call us, we'll call you.

8. East Carolina

No more potential BCS bowl game. Now you're wondering if you'll make it to the CUSA title game. I imagine you'll face West Virginia in the WhoGivesARatsAss.com bowl.

7. Tennessee

It's pretty bad when Paul Rhoads has your number for one Saturday. You should've spent more time analyzing the LSU-Auburn game. Hell, ask Pitt for their video collection.

6. Clemson

I think you should tell pre-season magazines to no longer consider you for the ACC title or anything else that may be good publicity. It seems to backfire on you every season.

5. Georgia

Every year and lots of hype. Pre-season hype that is. Things are looking good, and then you find yourselves down 30 points at halftime. It doesn't get any more fun playing in the SEC.

4. Florida

I should have you guys rated higher, but this was one was difficult. I mean it's not like you lost to LSU or Bama. This was to Ole Miss....at home. You'll finish with a good record so Tim Tebow can pick up another heisman.

3. USC

For some reason, Oregon State has your number. Maybe it's because your Parade All-Americans got ran over by a midget. Maybe it's because Matt Sanchez looked like a statue in the pocket. Maybe it was that sea of Orange that you thought this was Syracuse. Maybe your PAC 10 conference isn't as easy as you thought.

2. Wisconsin

I think you just made Penn State fans worry about their losing streak to Michigan. Up 19-0 against a bad Michigan team, you lose 27-25. This week, we'll now have to see commercials about the upcoming Michigan-Ohio State game.

1. Wake Forest

There two types of BCS teams that lose to Navy. They're called Pitt and Rutgers. Try to keep it this way. You know Navy gave up lots of points to Duke and Ball State previously. Just sayin....

Pitt-Syracuse Notes


Panther Wide Receivers Invest in Insurance Policy

PantherRants has learned that Pitt's wide receivers have taken out insurance polices to protect themselves in case of injury. This was done as a precautionary measure in case they get crippled while trying to catch one of Bill Stull's passes. Because of the lack of a deep ball, some of them have found themselves in bad situations especially when trying to catch a pass over the middle. The terms of the policy have not been released.

Cavanaugh Hired as a Temp

Panthers' Offense Coordinator Matt Cavanaugh was calling plays for both teams on Saturday. He was hired as a temp to handle play calls for the Syracuse offense along with his duties at Pitt. This marks the first time a coach was working for both teams. Cavanaugh was able call an effective game on both sideline as Syracuse had the lead at one point. Up 14-3 with a fourth down and 1 at the Panthers' forty yard line, Cavanaugh elected to punt to see if he could make the game interesting. He did as the Panthers' rallied to win the game.

Austin Ransom Promoted to MLB

After his display of senior leadership, Austin Ranson will take Scott Mckillop's place at middle linebacker. Scott will be a reserve while Shane Murray takes over Ransom's old position. Dave Wannstedt has said that "Austin has made an impact on the defense and his hair makes him look like that thing off "The Predator". Opposing offenses: GET TO THE CHOPPER!"