Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Rantings and Reflections

Coach Cav's Playbook Revealed!

Our Sources down at the UPMC Sports Complex were able to get a copy of Matt Cavanaugh's playbook. They were "shocked"...to say the least. Hell, we were too. Below is a copy of Matt Cavanaugh's playbook:


Our sources found printouts of plays from Tecmo Super Bowl in Matt's play book. We are still wondering if this is the actual playbook because some of these plays are more daring than what Matt would call.

Players Awards

Player of the game:
Quarterback Bill Stull.

Stull was heroic in his performance against Bowling Green. He managed around 260 yards on 29/51 passing behind an offensive line that had more gaping holes than a hooker on a busy night. He also did this in an offense that likes to throw five yard passes.


Milk Carton Player of the game: Elijah Fields and Greg Cross. While Dom Decicco was being bullied by Bowling Green's offense, Elijah was on the bench. There were reports that Fields would be "utilized" more. Elijah was utilized by most likely handing out gatorade to the players. Greg Cross was never used as well. His ability to throw accurately has been questioned, but at least they could have used his feet in some situations.

Honorable Mention: Lucas Nix and Jonathan Baldwin. While Joe Thomas was doing his best impressing of Tony Mandarich, he was on the bench as well. Baldwin wasn't used a whole lot and probably would have been a better option than Oderick Turner. Oderick will most likely catch a touchdown pass next week when Pitt is down late by three touchdowns and will tell the remaining 15 students in attendance to be quiet.

Fans of the game: The student section. They came out in good numbers for this game. Students showing up usually seems to be an issue, but you can now see why they don't show up. Most of them have to deal with this their whole time at Pitt. This comedy show cut into their drinking time at Garage Door Saloon, Hemingways, Peter's Pub, or at some house on Atwood.

If they wanted to see something like this, they would have stayed at home and watched freshmen try their first keg stands.

Positives from the Game

Here are some positive items from the game:

1. Pitt was up 14-0
2. Larod Stephens played well.
3. Ribfest was in town
4. Free Chick-Fil-A sandwiches
5. The Gyro Stand makes good gyros.
6. Pitt Band's Bon Jovi performance
7. The women on the dance team
8. The coeds looked pretty good.
9. Some fans saved money on their travel expenses for the season.
10. Pitt's Big East record is still 0-0.



8 comments:

ringo said...

hey, where in the hell were the free chik-fil-a sandwiches? i would've jonesed for several of those!!

Anonymous said...

...I think you mean GREG Cross, not David.

PS- Tecmo Super Bowl Reference = Hilarious! Although you did choose the Oiler's Run and shoot offense there which would not be an accurate description of the playbook...

Wanny's Moustache said...

I just fixed the name. I was in Bill Hilgrove mode being hung over from the weekend.

The Chick-Fil-A sandwiches were down towards Gate A

The Prowler said...

Don't you think you are being a bit too hard on Matt Cavanaugh and his playbook? You obviously don't realize that punting from BG's 35 (twice) was not because they were scared, but was the coaching staff taking a shot at the endzone. They were playing for a fumble that we could recover for a touchdown. Unlike pitching to Shady to the outside or throwing a pass over 5 yards, BG would never see this game plan coming.

vito said...

Prowler,

Thats a great observation!

Wanny is a master strategist!

Yeti said...

I love the Tecmo Bowl reference!

Every year these douchebags give me yet another reason not to renew my season tickets. Anybody need 2 in Section 133?

I can't believe I missed the free Chick-Fil-A sandwiches. The gyro stand did look good. This will give me something to do next week.

Rob said...

Great article. I live down here in Florida and was debating wether or not to go to a sports bar to watch the game. I am glad I didn't. ESPN was "thoughful" enough to show about 5 minutes of it, so I got to see Lee miss that FG. Oh well, maybe the boys can rebound against Buffalo this weekend.

Hail to Pitt!

Rob

Justin said...

those chick-fil-a sandwiches were not free! they cost either $3 or $4!