Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Panther Rants Exclusive


(Milwaukee) Panther Rants has learned that Marquette University has inked an endorsement deal with C-list actor Vincent Pastore. The deal, which was to be announced at half-time of last night's basketball game, would include introduction of Pastore as the new mascot of Marquette athletic teams. Pastore, who has been out of work since he was killed off of 'The Sopranos' would stroll the baseline and lead cheers, replacing the Golden Eagle that currently represents the university. "We felt this was a natural union", said Marquette Athletic Director Bill Cords. "In the sports world, our basketball team is widely recognized as perhaps the biggest bunch of pussies outside of those pantywaists that play in Durham". Mr. Cords also hinted that head basketball coach Tom Crean was close to signing an endorsement deal with SmithKline Beecham to promote a new fast-acting feminine wash.

3 comments:

Stuart Margolin said...

I love the site and agree with you 95% of the time, but this time I must respectfully disagree.

Vincent falls more into the the "b list" category, I'm more of your "c list" variety type that should have been considered for the position.

Simon Oakland said...

Since Paul Rhoads is now long gone does that mean the Pogo Ball is soon to follow?

Is Pitt holding open auditions for the new version of "Dinocat"?

In, addition, I am the ultimate C-List actor!!

Vincent Pastore said...

This is the greatest site, thank you so, so much for the fanfare and recognition.

As an FYI, I am now mentoring the one and only Terrelle Pryor.