Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The WVU Situation

We here at Panther Rants have been mesmerized by the goings on in Morgantown, and as such apologize for the lack of material. But the display of raw, unadulterated humanity is beyond description. Take a quick visit to either the WVU Scout or Rivals sites, and you'll soon realize 3 hours have past, lost in rumors of Rich Fraudriguez returning to WVU with a change of heart by the boosters, to Nick Saban, Pete Carroll, and Bill Cowher expressing interest in the position. WVU fans have, in a word, lost their minds. And why wouldn't they? Let's examine the last 16 months or so in WVU country:

March 29, 2007 - The West Virginia Men's Basketball team wins the post-season NIT. Hoopie fans are a little too excited to be the 66th best team in the country, leading to the infamous misspelling on the Championship t-shirts. An ominous portent of things to come in 2007.

April 3, 2007 - John Beilein, who led the Mountaineer Men's Basketball team to the Elite 8 and the most success they've had since Jerry West was in college, leaves WVU to take the Michigan job. By the way, Michigan Men's Basketball is 4-7 with losses to Western Kentucky (not located in Lexington), Central Michigan (not located in East Lansing), and Harvard. Yes, Harvard. And not Math Olympics. Basketball. 5 on 5 basketball. Wow.

April 5, 2007 - Bob Huggins, alcoholic, rageaholic, and hillbillyaholic, is announced as head coach of the WVU Men's Basketball team. WVU now has alumni at the head of their two money sports, Men's Basketball and Football. Dreams of world domination dance in young Hoopies' heads as they believe at this moment, nothing bad can happen.

Summer 2007 - Sergio Lopez, who led WVU's Men's Swimming and Diving team to the 2007 Big East Title leaves West Virginia for, no, not the US Swim Team, no, not another University, but for a high school swim team. Seriously. You can't make this stuff up.

Fall, 2007 - WVU's football team is pre-season #3 in the country, behind only USC and LSU. Hoopie fans are orgasmic.

September 28, 2007 - For the second straight year, WVU's football team falls to the Caveman Leavitt-led South Florida Bulls. National title dreams are crushed, but Hoopies keep on keeping on as only Hoopies can.

October 28, 2007 - One month after the devastating loss to USF, WVU's football team is sitting at #7, conceivably still in the National title hunt.

November 25, 2007 - A series of stunning upsets, combined with a marshmallowy soft BE schedule, allows WVU's football team to ascend to #2 in the polls. All that stands between WVU and a date in the BCS Title game in New Orleans is the 4-7, and horrendously overmatched, Pitt Panthers.

December 1, 2007 -

December 5, 2007 - Gateway High School's Cameron Saddler, down to WVU, UVA, and Pitt, commits to Pitt. Rich Fraudriguez weeps.

December 9, 2007 - Nowin High School's Michael Shanahan, down to Pitt and WVU, among others, commits to Pitt. Rich Fraudriguez weeps some more.

December 10, 2007 - Aliquippa High School's Jonathan Baldwin, heavily recruited by USC, Florida, and Miami, among others, commits to Pitt. Rich Fraudriguez wants so very much to cry, but the tears won't come.

December 14, 2007 - The Sporting News, among other outlets, reports Rich Fraudriguez meets in Toledo with University of Michigan officials about the vacant head coaching position.

December 17, 2007 - Rich Fraudriguez is announced as the head coach of Michigan's football team. Hoopie fans weep. While Hoopies discuss the fistfight that will occur between Vince Lombardi and Bill Belichick as to who gets the open position, Terry Bowden, yeah, that Terry Bowden, expresses sincere interest in the job. Really. Glee just slightly begins to turn to sympathy for the Hoopies and their plight.

December 17, 2007 - In a hilarious "fuck you" to WVU, it is reported that Michigan will interview WVU Women's Soccer Coach Nikki Izzo-Brown. At this point, even masochists start to feel bad for the Hoopies. Seriously, was Michigan AD Bill Martin raped in West Virginia as a child? What Michigan is doing to WVU is downright soulless.

Ladies and Gentlemen, West Virginia, 2007.


WVUMntneerJim said...

As a Mountaineer fan, I couldn't help but laugh at that... I needed that.

He who took you to bowl games said...

Hey, just because I stiffed you doesn't mean you can slap me around.

Ya Know!!