Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

tOSU's Starting QB Out


New Orleans - Pantherrants has learned that #1 ranked Ohio State's leader, QB Todd Boeckman, will be out for the BCS National Championship Game on January 7th. Jim Tressel explained. "We allowed the players to go home for Christmas; that was a big mistake. Todd went to visit his family and comes back to us unable to play."

Tressel continued, "We don't know if this injury is going to affect Todd's ability to play long-term but it doesn't look good right now." Reports indicate that Boeckman got angry while visiting him. He began cursing and as his mother always had done, she put soap in his mouth. Boeckman had endured this punishment many times but he seemed to reach a threshold. Dr. James Williams explained. "It's just like Ralphie in the Christmas story - too much will eventually lead to soap poisoning, which can include complete blindness for life. I have yet to complete my tests but it seems as if that's what we're dealing with."

More reports to come.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Really, if you're going to try to have a satirical blog, you might want to find some writers that are actually funny.

Darrin McGavin said...

I must agree, that post is pretty lame!