Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Panther Rants Presents: Complete Douche-bag of the Week

There is no shortage of candidates for the least prestigious honor on the internet this week. The award could go to fans of that school in Ohio, who likely talked a big game this past week, only to be put in their rightful place last night. It could also go to the coach of that team in Ohio, who with his ridiculous sweater-vest was out-coached by a gigantic white hat. But both of these choices pale in comparison to the winner of this week's award, Fat Ten Commissioner James E Delaney. Why, you might ask, does such an undeserving douche-bag deserve such an honor? Allow us to show you:

Jim Delaney's Open Letter to Fat Ten Fans

Yes, you read that correctly. In the wake of the beating administered by Florida last year, Big Jim penned a letter outright stating that the SEC recruits kids who couldn't cut it academically or socially at Fat Ten universities. Your first reaction was likely outrage at such a bigoted statement. I mean, this is expected from the conference that gives us "White Outs" every year, but you'd never think the freaking commissioner would perpetrate such an act. But there it was.

However, outrage and shock quickly turn to disbelief when you realize that Andy Katzenmoyer attended a Fat Ten institution of higher learning. Yes, Jim Delaney, commissioner of a league that had no problem with Andy Katzenmoyer enrolling in college, had the audacity to insult another athletic league's recruiting practices.

This comes to our attention as that team in Ohio got ass-pounded again last night by an SEC team. How delicious would it have been to be sitting with Mr. Delaney as the best his ridiculously crappy conference could offer got throttled by a team that couldn't escape the SEC without losing 2 games? And this would be enough to slide the voting in commissioner Delaney's favor, until you visit the Fat Ten website. Notice anything that screams ego at you?

Congratulations Jim, you've earned it.

4 comments:

Jeff Long's Dong said...

I think you blew it, my better half deserves the award!

Anonymous said...

Don't forget Maurice Clarett and his "one and done". He represented the higher standards at THE Ohio State University.

Anthony Smith said...

I guarantee i should have been considered for this award!

Anonymous said...

http://www.scarletknights.com/stadium/