Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Tale of Wannstedt


Island of Misfit Coaches - On a remote and frigid island lives a kingdom of former football coaches. These are no ordinary folks though; all have been deemed, "misfits," by their University's Athletic Department. The kingdom is a haven for those who don't "fit in" to normal football society.

Today, Coach Wannstedt, drifting on an iceberg, landed on the island and immediately was welcomed. He came across a young African-American man who said, "who are you?" Coach Dave said, "I'm Dave Wannstedt. Who are you?"

"Ron Dickerson is my name. I came here years ago after Temple didn't think I could win games."

"My name is John Mackovic - I was sent here for losing at places where you have to be a total retard not to at least get to bowl games."

"Hi there - they call me Tyrone Willingham. I'm the first guy ever who couldn't recruit good players to Notre Dame."

"Wow!," exclaimed Wannstedt. "I never knew there was a place with so people who wouldn't judge me on my inability to formulate a competent gameplan. But I'm just trying to get back to Pittsburgh to save my school from the evil Steve Pederson."

"You're among friends here," stated Bill Callahan. "We're all misfits here. No one wants a coach who can't beat Iowa State, or UC Davis, or Richmond. But first, we must take you to the King."

Coach Wannstedt eventually met up with the King of the Island of Misfit Coaches. King George Perles deemed Dave a truly crap coach that no school would want and allowed him to stay as long as he'd like. And all lived Wlatppily ever after.




2 comments:

Joe Kumpf said...

How about Gerry DiNardo?

Wlat 3:16 said...

an excellent choice. he's actually janitor in that kingdom.