Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Slap 10!

10. Texas

Yeah...we had to add you on this list despite your record. Despite the fact you beat Oklahoma head to head. Despite your only loss was due to a desperation pass to Michael Crabtree. Despite your quarterback and a high powered offense. Despite all that, Oklahoma is playing in the Big 12 title game and you're not.

9. Georgia

Nice showing against Navy-South. There's a reason for pre-season hype and you're one of those reasons.

8. Central Michigan

Great showing against Michigan. Wait a minute, Michigan sucks. I mean Michigan State. Wait, you didn't play them either. Oh, it was Eastern Michigan!

7. June Jones

Sometimes the grass isn't always greener. I mean who would leave Hawaii for Texas?

6. LSU

Great game against Arkansas. Yeah we's the SEC.

5. Wes Lyons

When you committed to WVU, your dad compared you to Larry Fitzgerald. How tall are you?? 6'5-6'6? Would Larry Fitzgerald let a 5'6 corner push him around? Does Larry Fitzgerald have the concept of out of bounds? Yeah, put up some stats and maybe we can do the comparison. Last time I check, Fitzgerald is a Pro Bowl receiver

4. Oregon State

You didn't think you'd be heading to the Rose Bowl did you? Penn State throttled you the last time you played them. The PAC-10 has a lot more sense than to let you into the Rose Bowl.

3. Auburn

Glad to see your new defensive coordinator is working out. Have fun watching Bama in the title game.

2. Pat White

Boy did Bill Stewart F' you up. They tried to convert you from a runner to a passer. It didn't work out too well this season. Looks like you'll be hanging with Major Harris signing autographs in Morgantown next season when your NFL career is short. You can always meow for us one more time.

1. Notre Dame

We just heard Weis is back for one more season. We're happy to witness another miserable season for the Irish. Maybe you'll score more than three points against USC next season where it can deemed as "progress".

No comments: