Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

James Laurinaitis, All-American


We here at Panther Rants couldn't be happier that a stiff named James Laurinaitis, owner of an astounding 14 solo tackles in his 4-year career at an Ohio State University, was named Associated Press 1st Team All-American at linebacker. We couldn't agree more with the collection of adroit reporters who think that it takes intestinal fortitude, athletic prowess, and guile to be the last guy in on every tackle. Without Mr. Laurinaitis' efforts, that running back who has already been tackled and has four 300-pound guys sitting on him may very well get up and run for a touchdown. But not on Mr. Laurinaitis' watch!

So to James Laurinaitis, we say, "Bravo!" for watching your teammates do all of the work while you relax and and collect all the accolades. You have a great career ahead of you as the next Junior Seau.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

For those that remember the old Road Warriors/Legion of Doom tag team, Hawk and Animal, James Laurinaitis is Animal's son.

zerp said...

Big Fuckin deal.

Road Warrior Douche said...

No shit, they only mention it every 30 seconds whenever tOSU plays.