Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Fishmouth Gobbles Orange

Syracuse - Starved Pitt fans had been waiting almost 11 months to see their team with a complete game victory. Thankfully for them, this past weekend saw Coach Fishmouth hooking the competition instead of being hooked.

Wannstedt commented after the game, "We came up here to Syracuse expecting the Orange to put forth some kind of effort and I guess they just didn't feel like bothering." When asked for comment, Cuse coach Marrone stated, "What Fishmouth said is true. Did you see our gameplan? We wrote it on a napkin 10 minutes before the game. In fact, it was the same plays we run the first 2 days of summer camp to just get the kids going. Nothing fancy and no scheming. We figured Pitt had given up on the year."

Syracuse players commented afterwards. "Did you see Pitt against Miami, FIU, Notre Dame? Did it look as if we needed to practice anything? We put a hurtin' on Colgate and figured that's all it'd take. Coach Marrone said to not worry about it because he said Wannstedt is dumb and won't make any changes to what they've been doing."

Pitt was led by QB, Tino Sunseri, who had his best game as a collegiate. "It was really nice to be able to just stand wherever I wanted and throw the ball. I wish Miami and Utah would have given me a fair shot like the Orange did. I was able to miss on some pretty easy throws on first or second down and then on third down, they were nice enough to leave one guy open short for me to throw to. Honestly, I'm feeling pretty good because not just anyone can complete wide open 10 yard throws with no pass rush. Look at Bostick for god's sakes - he can't."

Coach Marrone finished the interview by stating that he was disappointed in his team's lack of preparation. "I guess I have to take some responsibility; you really have to try to lose to Pitt this year and we just didn't get it done."

Nonetheless, the day a total loss for the Syracuse fans exiting the stadium. "Hey, did you see Express? Great movie, great movie! Did you know that we were real good in the early 60's. And Marvin Harrison!!!" Several Cuse fans were seen masturbating to McPherson highlight videos being played on the stadium's concourse.


Anonymous said...

You are finally back!

I waited an entire year!

What do you think Wanny is going to do with Butgers?

Wlat 3:16 said...

what will wanny do against buttgers? same thing he always does: eat a fish sandwich and call 3 running plays up the gunt.