Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Best Damn WLAT Show!

Walt Harris: Welcome to the Best Damn WLAT Show! I am your host as always. Making his return to the show is my sidekick, Kevan Barlow. Kevan had his tryout with the Erie RiverRats and as always.......

Kevan: How's the job hunt coming, punk? Did Washington or Tennessee call you yet?

Walt: What job hunt? I don't need a job. Stanford is still paying me. I get to hang out in Pittsburgh and watch my former employer find a way to beat Rutgers.

Kevan: I just watched them beat Notre Dame this past Saturday. They're 6-2 and ranked again.

Walt: Which means they'll lose this week. They suck at home and they do worse when they're ranked.

Kevan: Was Pitt ever ranked when you coached?

Walt: 2002, 2003, and shot.

Kevan: Took you long enough, chapstick. Wanny has them ranked in his fourth year.

Walt: Yeah, but he has LeSean McCoy. I had to start out with players like Matt Lytle and Kevan...

Kevan: Don't even go there!

Walt: Speaking of Louisville, is Brian Brohm still there?

Kevan: No, it's Hunter Cantwell. Brian plays in the NFL. Think about it, you couldn't send one QB to get drafted in the NFL when you were at Pitt. Hell Trent Edwards managed to get drafted in your tenure at Stanford.

Walt: Didn't this blog face a little controversy when Pitt played Louisville last year?

Kevan: Yeah, they said Brian Brohm had a down-sydromish face.

Walt: Well any good QB would need their head checked if they stayed another year to play under Steve Kragthorpe.

Kevan: Actually, Brian didn't have a bad season. It's the defense that sucked. It reminded me of that Pitt defense of 2003.

Walt: Well let's go to some fan mail:

Dear Walt,

I took a job at Washington and now I'm out of the job after some really bad seasons. Where do you go from here after a bad stint? Do you coach in the MAC? Join the World Series of Poker? I mean what do you do with the economy being in bad shape?


Ty from a hotel room

Walt: Sounds like a man down on his luck.

Kevan: He joined a fraternity of head coaches that went out West and got fired. Kind of like you....

Walt: Hold that thought. Kevan, the Steelers are on the phone. Willie Parker just got hurt again! They need you!

Kevan: Really?!?

Walt: Ha Ha, just joking.

Kevan: asshole.

Walt: Well as for Ty....all I can say is enjoy earning whatever money the University will give you for doing such a crappy job. That's what I have done. I hang out at Denny's, eat Grand Slams, and bang cheap waitresses. I also have my own show. Look at the picture at the top. Kevan even does prep work for Denny's when he's not on this show. I heard he doesn't fumble the food either.

Kevan: Why don't you take off those sunglasses. Pat Hoderny called to say Summer's over.

Walt: Now I'm gonna kick your ass........

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