Panther Rants is The Onion of Pitt Sports. Formerly a serious recruiting blog written by a serious recruiting writer, the site was taken over by mediocre bloggers that provide satire, sarcasm and anything but serious information. Everything on this site is tongue-in-cheek and is not meant for serious consumption.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

We got your gameday experience right here

It has com to the attention of the damn near inert staff at Panther Rants (we're coming back short, but we've been really busy lately. While we blogged during football season the sink got clogged with dirty dishes, and then the toilet became straight up clogged, then the girlfriend got pissed that all we did was blog so we had to spend time with her....and, well you get the idea...what the hell were we talking about? Oh yeah)...

It's come to our attention that the University of Pittsburgh's athletic department is fielding suggestions to make the game day experience more worth experiencing (you know, so that the marketing department can immediately take the suggestions and say, "hey, shit, that won't work," and discard them like they do with most suggestions. But we digress) Our first suggestion would be to sell not only beer throughout the stadium, but also provide pot, crack, coke and LSD as well. That way the fights in the stands during a blowout game could at least be interesting.

Realizing that our university (not to mention the state's Attorney General) would want no part of this, we proudly present Exhibit A, courtesy of our friends in the Fat 10 conference at the University of Fatconsin-Fatison campus.

For years, the Badgers have been playing "jump around" at the end of the third quarter. And dammit, it looks like they're having a ball doing it by the looks of this video. We recommend that Pitt do something similar. Pick a tune that students and fans alike can sing a long to and pump that baby up.

Problem is, given our city's crapy taste in music ("Yeah, dis 'DVE? Can yinz get on sum Tin Lizzy? Tanks n' at") and our athletic department's horrible taste in, well, pretty much everything, we're worried about what song would be chosen. Reliable sources are reporting Smokey Robinson's "Tears of a Clown" and "If I Could Turn Back Time" by Cher are currently the favorites.

4 comments:

In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff said...

Given the games are happening within city limits, I'm not sure how it couldn't be 'Love is Like a Rock'.

Yeti said...

Two words: Donnie Iris.

He who once took you to bowl games said...

Fuckin right on!!!!!!!!!!

DPJ said...

I'd give almost anything to have an atmosphere like that here.